Review: The Resident

Ok..

I don't think I EVER used the word "creepy" so much in 91 minutes in my life.

I don't think I ever had chills running up my spine so much in 91 minutes.

AND ...

I don't think my chin was on my knees so much in 91 minutes.

How the HELL did I miss this movie??

Hilary Swank plays Juliette, an ER doctor who moves into an apartment building after she finds out the love of her life cheated on her.

Jeffery Dean Morgan :: who's all hot butter-scotchy :: portrays her landlord Max.

So here's Juliette with a job she loves... a too-awesome apartment that's too cheap for NYC.. and a hunky landlord with the weird grandfather.

Oh.. did I mention the weird grandfather?

Anyway.. what more could a girl want, right?

You know that saying about things being too good to be true usually aren't? Well, I'm going to guess that Juliette skipped that message because her Romeo :: come on, you knew that was coming! :: is this creepy guy who does creepy, creepy things.

Sooooo creepy that I told Tim that if I ever had to live in an apartment it would be ONE BIG ROOM with lights on 24/7..

And honestly, it's one of those creepy movies that is on point.. there wasn't one scene where I was like, ".. Oh! Come on! How the hell DIDN'T you notice that???? " It's well written.. well acted... and was exactly what it set out to be.

If you like creepy movies that stick with you.. you'll love this one.

So grab the DVD... pop a bag of microwave popcorn.. and grab a pillow or blanket to grip on to. THEN let me know what you think!

LOST DOG ALERT!

You all know I have a huge heart for dogs..

These two are lost  and the family is beyond heart broken..

If you live in the area.. or are driving through the area.. or know people in the area.. please get this out to them.

It's more of an emergency because Sophie is pregnant and is due to give birth very, very soon!

Recap: Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Reunion

Oh man.

Ok.

First off, Part 1 of the reunion was screwed up by my cable provider so I just combined the post after watching Part II.

And just let me state AGAIN that I want to be Lisa Vanderpump when I grow up..

Does she not ooze class? Does she not ooze charm and wit and the right amount of sarcasm?

There were two questions that I hoped the reunion would answer. One was.. One wasn't:

WHAT HAPPENED WITH CEDRIC?


If you watched the show, you already know that Cedric was Lisa and Ken's "permanent" mooch house guest. As the story goes, they opened the door to their fortune lives to him a long time ago but felt that after bringing him to the states.. giving him free room, board and every thing else, it was time for this 30-something year old man to move out.

Cedric didn't necessarily see it that way.. but after the season ended, he packed his bags. Well, he packed Ken's bags with his stuff.. and left. But you know, you can't live that lifestyle, lose it and be a happy camper so Cedric went on a smear campaign even going as far as meeting with Ken and Lisa demanding a pay off or he'll go to the trash rags.

What struck me is that these are decent, genuinely giving people in the truest sense of the word. You could feel their hurt and didn't try to hide the fact that they got hoodwinked by a fuzzy dude who wears a neon green and purple banana hammock.

While I comment Ken for wanting to punch Cedric for the hurtful things he said, I can't imagine him squashing a bug let alone going mano y mano with Cedric. Of course, I think Cedric is too much of a sissy to get into a physical altercation either .. kind of reminds me of the Bridget Jone's Diary scene where Colin Firth and Hugh Grant "try" and fight ..

THE KYLE AND KIM FIGHT

I'm only going to say this...

While I respect that fact that some things are private.. you can't have your life played out on a reality television show and then lock your lips about it. It just isn't fair, dammit!!

So what did we get?

"I love my sister" ... " I wish it never happened " ... " I'm not going to talk about it " ... " I don't have a problem with brushing my teeth with JD alcohol " ...  " I love my sister " ...

BORING!!

I wanted to know just what house did Kyle steal from Kim? Just how did Mauricio support Kim? What happened with the rehab??

The fact that they are sisters and have a long history made this more compelling so keeping mum about it was screwed.

Other then that, the reunion was pretty unspectacular.

Adrienne had very little to contribute other then the fact that she has had fillers, botox and a prenup. Then again, she really wasn't involved in much during the season so other then wearing the same blingy bling shoes that she wore the night of Taylor's infamous party, she was just decoration.

Taylor.. well, really.. who cares? Considering that she's not the brightest crayon in the box, you'd think she would know how to play stupid a lot better then she did when Kim called her out on the whole throwing down some Oklahoma remark. Kudos to Kim though, she backed Taylor up in a corner and hit that hot spot. If her lips weren't plastic, I'm sure we would have seen them quiver!

And then we have Camille. No so much a feeder fish anymore, huh?

I was actually impressed with her .. she didn't play victim quite as much as I thought she would and was kind of impressed that she owned her faux pas' .. I really think her issue is that she can't get what's in her brain out of her mouth and everything gets all twisted .

In other randomness:

• Loved how Lisa seemed to be crushing on Handsome Nick
• Andy Cohen putting Adrienne on the spot regarding fixing Kim up with her "available" brothers
• Could just sit all night and swoon over Mauricio
• Laughed when Russell said he wouldn't be able to keep up with a 20 year old
• Really think Dr. Paul needs his own show!

And so I wait for their next season .. I really do think this is the best of the franchise!

P!nk: Fucking Perfect

Make sure that everyone important in your life listens to this song..

Review: Choose

ME: This looks like a good one..
TIM: What's it about..
ME: A girl finds her parents hog tied and is told she has 60 seconds to choose who gets killed.. her mother or her father. If she can't decide then he kills both.
TIM: I would choose neither. That's horrible!!!!
ME: ... and that's why it's a "horror" film? Duh?
TIM: Good point.

Ok..

That brief synopsis is only what occurs in the first five minutes of the movie...

Even BEFORE the credits!

Not sure how this one missed my radar.. and with Kevin Pollack and Bruce Dern you wouldn't think it would have gone straight to video.

It shouldn't have...

This is THE BEST psychological thiller / horror movie that I've seen in a long time .. better then "Case 39" and "My Soul To Take" .. maybe even combined.

Smartly written.. not cheesy... not unbelievable.

And that's probably the scariest thing about this movie.

This mad man (he isn't necessarily a "killer" because he doesn't actually kill his victims) gives his victims a choice.. I'm not going to give anything away so let's say he makes them choose between A or B .. Black or White.. Apples or Oranges ...

For each victim, either choice is devastating so it basically becomes the lesser of to evils..

And everything.. everything ties in.. no loose strings.. no questions left unanswered.. everything fits right down to the last second of the film..

If I tell you anymore it's going to feel like I'm giving something away and this movie is too good to go into it knowing "something".

So my  lips are sealed.. you'll have to watch it for yourself and let me know what you thought.