So we've come to the end of Bravo TV's Real Housewives of Beverly Hill's first season.
Quite a ride, I think.
Personally, this has been my favorite group of house wives with Atlanta coming a close second. I guess their seemingly over-abundance of bank has levied out the need to flip tables and dress their kids in over the top concoctions of fabric (are you listening, Teresa?).
So here's the wrap up:
ADRIENNE MALOOF-NASSIF
I'm sure you already know that Adrienne is the only daughter in the Maloof dynasty of everything entertainment .. casino, sports teams, movies.. even skateboarding for pete's sake.
Bet you didn't know her middle name is Maude.
Shhh!! That's our little secret.
Anyway, Adrienne's tag line is
".. money is what I have, not who I am" .. or something like that. And you could say that everybody with the net worth that she has says the same thing but I happen to think Adrienne means it.
Very little drama centered around her.. which is why she probably didn't get the same air time that the other wive's had .. she took the girls to a basketball game.. took the girls to the casino that her family owns in Vegas, played around with her twin sons and made them lunch.. I mean, had the CHEF make them lunch.. attended functions and bickered with her husband, Dr. Paul Nassif.
Dr. Paul really should be the 7th house wife. I love love love him! At first you think he's a little dim witted lap dog but believe me, he holds his own.
Adrienne is the eye of the hurricane, however. With all the in fighting between the other girls, Adrienne was the voice of reason .. got involved when she needed to.. stayed out of it when necessary .. again, which is why she didn't get a lot of air time.
TAYLOR ARMSTRONG
If Dr. Paul is the 7th Housewife, then Taylor's lips .. okay, her whole MOUTH.. should be the 8th.
Taylor has issues bigger then her mouth, though.
See.. Taylor's married to Russell.
Russell has a mistress by the name of Blackberry. He is not to be confused with Kelsey Grammer who also has a mistress.. only Kel's is flesh and blood. Well, blood-less actually but more on that later.
I think Taylor was perfectly fine with Russell's mistress.. especially after having their daughter Kennedy. After all, Kennedy meant that Taylor would life in the lifestyle she has become accustomed to.. at least until Kennedy becomes 18.
But a funny thing happened on the way to Sephora.. Taylor started wanting to be a REAL wife.. with a REAL husband and a REAL marriage.
All the things money can't buy.
Only Russell likes having a trophy wife hanging on to his short stuff. And it was soo obvious during the season that he could care less about Taylor's thoughts and views and their lack of communication.
Case in point? Kennedy's so over the top birthday party. Taylor didn't think twice about buying her 5 (?) year old daughter a diamond pendant and transforming their grounds into an Alice in Wonderland Tea Party.. because actually, all that stuff was for her.. the former poor, abused Oklahoman who dared to reach for the stars and make her way to California to be discovered and.. oh.. um.. err... heh.. excuse me. Got carried away there.
But Taylor does things for Kennedy that satisfied the void in herself and Russell just does what he wants to like buy the kid a puppy, which sent Taylor on a freak out.
This season also spot lighted one of her beloved charities.. the 1736 Family Crisis Center. The episode where she speaks about the abuse she suffered as a child was probably the one that turned my opinion of her around.
I began to understand why she made the choices she's made and you started to see light in her eyes go out a little when Russell would be completely oblivious to her feelings or wants. Like constantly being on the opposite side of a room from her at a party .. women notice these things.
And I think the reason why Taylor was so quick to ruffle Camille's feathers in New York is because Taylor looking at Camille is like Taylor looking in the mirror. She knows where it's going for her.
One last thing.. so why is the focal point of Taylor's website a chandelier?
LISA VANDERPUMP TODD
When I grow up, I want to be Lisa.
Love, love, love her!
Of all the housewives, Lisa is the most accomplished.. probably the richest in her own right.. and is just down right normal.
This women has her stuff together.. says what she means and means what she says in this straight from the hip way that you just have to love. She's also funny as hell!
Her and her husband Ken also have big hearts and a penchant for strays. Not only did they adopt a little boy (big heart) but they also took on Cedric (the stray).
When not focusing on Lisa's attempts to keep the gals from imploding, her story line revolved around Cedric.. the 30-something, French born "house guest" who sponged off her good nature.
Cedric.. with the sobby sobby past of being born of rape and abandoned by his prostitute mother in a phone booth at age 7.. came into their lives almost two decades ago and never left. Ken wants him gone.. Lisa tries to explain that living their house doesn't mean he left their hearts.. Cedric plays the abandonment card.. not working.
What's the poor man to do? Leave the comforts of a million room mansion where he doesn't have to do a damn thing and like.. I dunno.. WORK? Support himself? Latch on to Lance Bass again? The HORRORS!!
Come on, now. Even the Todd's OWN kids are out and about making lives for themselves. Give me a break, Cedric .. and please refrain from wearing the neon green and purple banana hammock again.
KIM RICHARDS
Poor Kim.. she's like this fragile little bird that fell from it's nest and into a pond of Prozac.
Or maybe needs it.
There is definitely something up with this chick.. bad nerves? Pills needing to be tweeked?
Didn't know until the finale where her sister called her out on her booze consumption and we were informed that her family stuck her in rehab.. where she promptly signed herself out the following week.
But it was obvious that Kim's hay days were looooong behind her and that she was a really tiny fish in a pool full of sharks. She didn't know how to relate... didn't know how to blend.. She would have been perfectly happy staying at home surrounded by her gaggle of kids instead of venturing past her doorstep.
There's a name for that, isn't there?
So being the naive freshmen, she opened her mouth when she shouldn't have and kept it shut when it needed to be opened.. like defending her sister in New York.
I also think she holds A LOT of resentment for being the bread winning child actress who thinks she should still be respected more then she is.
The finale also burst like a super nova when her sister let loose on how her husband has been helping support Kim financially and IT. STOPS. RIGHT. NOW... cut to camera 3 where Kim is huddled in the corner of the limo hysterical.
Interesting.
KYLE RICHARDS UMANSKY
There's a reason why Kyle and Lisa Vanderpump are besties.. nationality and age aside, they're exactly the same.
Although she says she was a child star, she wasn't anywhere near the level of her sister Kim.
Sorry Kyle, but the truth is the truth.
But I don't think Kyle would mind because her life centers around her family. Incredibly hunky husband Mauricio Umansky and four daughters. She's very hands on.. living for her kids.
Her pride and emotion when eldest daughter Farrah graduated from college show just who Kyle really is.
She's also a spitfire who doesn't back down when she knows she's right..
This season really centered around her and her on going feud with Camille Grammer. And BELIEVE me.. it was on going with a lot of rings in the ripple. Oh.. and the strange dynamic of her relationship with her sister Kim and the pressure she feels trying to live up to their dying mother's request to take care of her.
<< cue scene of dying mother >>
That was bad. Sorry.
If there's one thing you can expect Kyle to do is stick up for herself and defend her family.. even against family. It was interesting.. and I'm sure the story isn't going to end there with these two.
CAMILLE GRAMMER
Oh Camille, the patron saint of blindsided wives.
And I do say that respect.
I'll be honest.. didn't care for her. I thought she was uppity and bougie and held herself too high.
But I think after the last few episodes, everyone's opinion of her has changed.
She "Little Girl Lost" .. another feeder fish not equipped to handle the shark pool. Like Kim, she's socially inept. She may know how to walk down a red carpet and field questions from reporters but I don't think she knows how to develop relationships other then the people sitting in her inner circle.
A lot of info on their marriage has come out recently and it seems as if she was held in a golden cage being cared for by a douche bag and then disposed of with the cage liner.
Yes, I just did just call Kelsey Grammer a douche bag. I'd call him worse.. believe me!
It's also obvious that he pushed her into doing the series to give him the opportunity to start building another cage for his mistress.
Although some of the things Camille did and said initially made think that perhaps some silicone was leaking in her brain, I get it now. I get HER now .. and I feel bad for her. I do.
The 2 part reunion show airs on Bravo beginning January 27th ..
