Sunday, February 20, 2011

Review: Gnomeo and Juliet

Loved It! Loved It! Loved It! LOVED IT!

I'm really not big on "family" movies.. in fact, you normally have to drag me kicking and screaming to see them but the only thing kicking and screaming with this movie was when it was over.

Think Shrek 1 done a hundred times better.

Everything was so spot on that I started to think they made this movie more for adults then for kids!! LoL! AND I got so into it that you'd swear I was like, five or something the way I was gasping and talking to the characters.

I think Tim moved a few seats down when I started doing that!

At any rate..

Don't let other family movies sway you from seeing this one. Elton John (yes, that one) is listed as executive producer so the soundtrack is literally all his music. I'm a fan so I so didn't mind.

James McAvoy (Mr. Tumus from Narnia) is the voice of Gnomeo and Emily Blunt voices Juliet. Jason Statham, Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan also voice characters but I'm not going to tell you who because I'll ruin it for you

Look.. there really isn't much more I can say except GO SEE IT!!!

Review: The Dilemma

Oh man.

I soooooooo wanted to love this movie! I mean, come on! Vince Vaughn? Kevin James?

Tell me you can't watch ONE episode of King of Queens' and not spend half of it on the floor hysterical.

Such high hopes. Such a huge let down. I would have settled for just "liking" the damn movie.

Don't get me wrong.. there were some funny moments but everything seemed soooo draaagggged out that it didn't matter what was funny anymore because I just wanted it to end.

Vaughn and James play best friends from college who now own a small business doing something with car engines. They get a meeting with a big car manufacturer and that puts all kinds of pressure on Nick (Kevin James) who is just so not good under any kind of pressure.

Oh.. Queen Latifah play a car company executive and COMPLETELY steals every scene she's in.

Anyway, Ronny (Vaugh) discovers that Nick's wife Geneva (played by Winona Ryder who sounds like she either downed a few bottles of whiskey or smoked a carton of cigarettes.. maybe both) is cheating on him and there in lies the movie title.

Should he tell Nick? Should he wait to tell Nick until after the deal with the car exec? Should he press Geneva to tell Nick? Why doesn't he tell his OWN girlfriend (Jennifer Connelly) instead of letting her think that he's back to him gambling way?

Too much of a dilemma if you ask me.. everything is over the top and well, boring.

Check it out if you got absolutely nothing better to do but I would wait until it's on late night cable.

Recap: Teen Mom S2E6 - Taking Sides

My GAWD.. should I just dig out my eyeballs now and save myself from watching Chelsea being an idiot?

Yea.. yea.. I know it's my choice to watch or not to watch but this chick is like a car crash. You can't help BUT watch.

Her father needs a swift slap upside the head to.. let my kid talk to me the way she talks to him when I'm the one footing the bill for everything and and we'll see how mouthy they are.
At any rate .. so Chelsea moves her baby's daddy (here in referred to as the "Balloon Knot") in the house her father is paying for. Her best-friend Megan.. who's stuck by Chelsea's side when the baby's daddy was being a major dick.. is also living there rent free.

Chelsea loves the Balloon Knot.. Megan hates the Balloon Knot .. the Balloon Knot doesn't want Megan living in the house HE DOESN'T PAY FOR all the while whining that he has to pay child support.

Well.. maybe next time he'll invest 3 bucks for a condom.

You know what happens, right? The Balloon Knot and Megan go at it and she winds up leaving while Chelsea whines more then a Napa Valley vineyard. Chelsea calls her father but like, really? What the hell do you think HE's going to except tell The Balloon Knot that he has to pay rent.

And while I'm watching this all play out I'm thinking to my self, "... good Lord they bred!"

Leah and Corey are getting boring with their all lovey-dovey selves. The only thing worth noting in this episode is that baby Ali is still too young for an MRI but a therapist is coming over to do exercises with the baby to help her develop. The lovey-dovey couple have a conversation about communicating better and their all happy and lovey dovey and Corey goes and buys Leah an engagement ring.

Insert heart flutter < here >

Janelle's little bad ass self and her BF Keifer have been staying in a friend's run down meth lab trailer since she got thrown out. She still having issues with getting financial aid because she up and gave up custody of her son so now she needs her mother's financial information ..

Is it me or does her mom need massive amounts of zanax?

Anyway, she winds up getting the information and when she calls her mother to thank her she finds out that there's going to be a party for baby Jace to celebrate his Big Number One. Her mother has the Oh! Decency! to invite Janelle and tells her what time to be there.

Janelle and Keifer show up at the designated time but that's not good enough for the mother from hell. She bitches and complains that Janelle didn't get there early enough. She also bitches and complains about the gift Janelle bought for Jace.. a motorized Spiderman car thing.

I mean, this crazy ass woman went off saying how she wasted her money.. Jace isn't going to remember it.. she should have bought him a silver cup and how SHE didn't get her kids anything for their birthdays or Christmas until they were old enough to crawl over broken glass to kiss her ankles in thanks realize what gifts where.

My GOD woman.. can you cut this girl some slack? I know there's a history.. I know that Janelle will never win daughter of the year.. but there's a reason why your kid is the way she is and I'm willing to bet that you're responsibility falls right out of the grey area.

Thankfully.. THANKFULLY.. Kailyn has a good head on her shoulders. She realizes that there is no relationship anymore with the King of the Douchebags and that she's going to have to do what she needs to do for her and her son. King Douchebag doesn't take the news well.. he tells her she's sending out mixed signals and when she figures out when she's moving, etc. to let him know.

In the meantime, King Douchebag band-aid's things with his poppa and him, Kailyn and the baby are allowed to move back in. The Puppet Masters (King Douchebag's parents) call a "meeting" with them to find out what they're plans are and they didn't look pleased at. all. when Kailyn tells them that she doesn't want a relationship with the King Douchebag because of they don't really get along.

I don't know this for sure, but from the looks on their faces I'm willing to bet that they have the Emergency Custody paper work all filled out and are waiting for the right time to file them to take Baby Isaac.

And this just in .. King Douchebag was arrested over the weekend with his brother for driving under the influence of ".. a controlled and dangerous substance." which, according to reports, was weed.

Guess it was a slow day in cop land .. OR maybe Janelle and Keifer were hiding in the trunk. Did anyone think to look?

Until next time...

Friday, February 18, 2011

Recap: Survivor 22 - Redemption Island

After 22 seasons, you'd think Survivor would get old. Nope.

Not to me, anyway.

And NEVER when Boston Rob.. Russell or BOTH land on the sand.

There's also THE TWIST this year and if you're a fan of Survivor then you know just how this is going to be a game changer.

This season, instead of heading to the Ponderossa after your flame is snuffed you're shipped to Redemption Island where you will stay alone until someone else gets voted off. Both torched contestants will duel with the winner brought back in the game. Game over for the loser. 

After the first episode, I'm not gong to get into a detail of all the contestants.. would take too long and most of them weren't even featured so I'll only hit the highlights and BELIEVE ME this was THE most JAW DROPPING first episode in Survivor history.

So the key players in Episode 1:

Rob will always be a key player regardless of the episode or season.

He's the shiznit when it comes to Survivor and it just boggled my mind that there were people on his tribe that thought they were going to hood-wink him... on THE FIRST DAY!!

Come on.. like SERIOUSLY?? He is arguably the best player in history for a reason and that reason isn't because he doesn't know how to play this game.

There's no doubt that Russell is the ultimate in Survivor villains.. he plays people like a fiddle and does things that are so morally corrupt without conscience that you can't help but give him his due.

He's played the same game twice before .. hook up with the young, pretty girl and cause havoc and chaos to get to the end.

His strategy worked for him twice and I really didn't think his tribe would fall for it a third time. Seems like it did.. he made an alliance with the young Stephanie (I believe that's who it was) .. but I don't think the guys on his tribe are going to follow as blindly. But Russell's tribe won immunity so that's all I'm going to say about him in this post.

Poor Kristina.

What a freakin' idiot. Did she really think that she was going to master mind Rob being booted off without the numbers? With just an immunity idol? With just Francesca and Philip, the guy you don't really trust?

Have you ever watched a season of Survivor that Rob was on? 

Come on girl.. there's a time and a place for bold moves and the first tribal council is NOT the time to try an oust an icon before you know the other personalities your playing with.

Francesca's confidence may have been an asset to her.. as would her experience as an attorney if she hadn't been stupid and saddled up with Kristina. 

I will say that she wasn't down on trying to vote off Boston Rob because she understood that you needed to keep the tribe strong to win challenges. The more challenges you win as a tribe, the less you have to worry about tribal council.

Unfortunately for Francesca, her alliance put her on Rob's radar and when you mess with the bull, you get the horns. As the first person on Redemption Island, she could be back..


Please Phillip .. I'm BEGGING you .. toss the peach/coral banana hammock! Normal people don't want to see you walking around the beach wearing nothing but a banana hammock.. especially when the crotch area sags.

Anyway.. you're either going to like him or think that he's a complete moron but there's one thing you have to at least understand. If you want Phillip on your side, you have to be up front and honest with him. Keep him in the loop.. treat him like he's important enough to confide in and you'll have his loyalty. Try to change up on him and he's going to call you out. Big Time.

Not so sure Phillip realizes what Survivor is all about.. and given the opportunity, he may just learn but he definitely drew a line in the sand.

Ok.. so what happened  last night..

Boston Rob catches Kristina hunting around for the hidden immunity idol clue and he let's her know that he knows what she's doing. That spooks her a little bit but she happens to find it without the clue. Now she thinks she got some power going on so she clues in Francesca. 

They're happy.. almost giddy.. and devise a plan to get rid of Rob because the rest of the tribe is in his shadow and they don't like that.

They talk to Phillip.. Phillip the former secret agent man who's trained in reading people. He wants to know all the nitty gritty details and Kristina isn't willing to share. She got the power.. she's flexing her muscles.. she's running her little show. Against her better judgement, she winds up telling Phillip about the immunity idol just to get him off her back.

As for Rob, he keeps it simple. He tells his team about Kristina's search for the idol. He doesn't know if she has it or not but all they have to do is split their votes for Kristina and Francesca. The idol will be played and the alliance will be gone. 

Francesca doesn't think that voting Rob is the best thing for the tribe so she talks to Kristina about voting for someone weaker (Natalie) and Kristian agrees. 

But.. but.. BUT!! They never talk to Phillip. He still thinks that Rob is being voted out. So when Jeff Probst starts grilling the tribe, Rob tells him that he knows he has a target on his back and you know, what can you do about it.

Francesca, for WHATEVER BLOODY REASON, makes this little comment about Rob not having to worry about going home and Phillip FREAKS! This isn't the plan that he thought he was involved in and he pipes right up and calls out Kristina and Francesca about voting out Rob and THEN busts out about Kristina having the immunity idol. 

Rob, who's not going to let ANY opportunity pass him buy, asks to see the immunity idol. Kristina actually HANDS IT to him and he tells her that if she wanted to redeem herself then she should give him the idol. 

Talk about bold moves in episode one. You could literally see her wheels spinning and I think she wasjusthisclose to handing it over but she didn't. And I think the reason why she didn't play it was to kind of like snub her nose at Rob.

At any rate, Francesca was voted off... she was going to be voted off anyway but I think SHE believes it was because of Phillip so if she makes it passed the Redemption Island duel, we'll see what the dynamic is.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Review: My All Time Favorite Valentine's Day Movies

You'd think this would be an easy list to compile but when you're a movie whore like I am .. paging and paging and paging through lists of movies.. EVERYone is a favorite and EVERYone conjures up memories and moments and just who the nitwit I was sitting next to in the theater was!

But I did wittle it down.. to 37. I know.. I know.. but what can you do, right? I'm a hopeless romantic. More on the "hopeless" then the "romantic" but that's another post for another time.

I did, though, categorize them for you. Well, possibly for me because I'm OCD when it comes to organization but none the less.. here they are:


THE EPICS
long.. lush.. cinematic jewels of love lost and found


Paul (Keanu Reeves), a WW2 vet who becomes a traveling chocolate salesman meets Victoria (the beautiful Aitana Sanchez-Gijon) on a bus. She's returning to her family's grape vineyard for the harvest but also with a secret.

She's unwed and pregnant.

Paul offers to pose as her husband, to ease the news for her old world Mexican family. But her father Alberto (Giancarlo Gianinni) and grandfather Don Pedro (Anthony Quinn) see the world a little differently .. holding on to old school traditions and assumptions while Victoria tries to spread her wings.

It's no mystery what happens. Paul and Victoria fall in love but not before a near catastrophe takes away everything the family has worked for.

Three brothers...Aidan Quinn (the sensible one), Brad Pitt (the wild one) and Henry Thomas (the collegiate)

One woman (Julia Ormand)

You know all hell is going to break loose, right?

Living with their father in the wilds of somewhere in the early 1900's, this tale spans something like 30 years and tells of heart ache, moral compass', politics. love and loyalty.

I watch this movie every chance I get regardless of where it's at when I turn it on. The scenery is breath taking.. the story and characters make you want to be there right there with them. Truly an epic of massive proportions!

Do yourself a favor and trust me on this one. The first ten minutes are what turned off a lot of people from seeing this movie through but chew on a nail or something because this is one of the most romantic movies I've ever seen.

My complete lust for Ewan McGregor aside!

Ewan is Christian.. a poet at a time in Paris where artists and musicians are pouring out of the closet. He falls in love with Satine (Nicole Kidman) the beautiful courtesan and lead performer of a theater.

Their devotions comes up against the Duke (Richard Roxburgh) who not only is in love with Satine but is also financing their latest production.. the production that will keep the theater open. Oh.. and you Satine is dying, right? With acting, the modern music, the dancing, the sets will all sweep you away to another time and place and leave you just as heart broken as Christian.

I'll be honest.. there is NOTHING Gerald Butler can do that I won't sit through and drool over and even if you know the story of the Phantom already, you won't want to miss this.

The Phantom is actually a mere mortal who lives in the bowels of the Paris Opera house since becoming disfigured in a fire. No one knows his true identity and he controls everything and everybody through fear.

He sees promise is a young orphan, Christine, who comes to live at the Opera House with the corp. He appears under the guise of an angel who is teaching her to sing and through the years, falls in love with her. She, however, falls in love with her childhood friend, Raoul, who is now something of great importance. The tug for Christine ensues and what we get is a lavish upon lavish  movie that will definitely make you root for the Phantom.. 'cause, it's Gerald Butler! Duh!

Did you ever wonder just where the story of Cinderella came from? I'll admit that I kind of watch every Drew Barrymore movie and really didn't plan on becoming as enamored as I did . It's just a great movie. A really great movie.

Danielle (Barrymore) an only child of a man of some prominence. They live in the country with a house full of servants that a mother-less Danielle treats as her family. Upon arriving home from a trip, her father brings home his new wife Rodmilla (Anjelica Huston) and her two daughters, beyond spoiled Margurite (Megan Dodds) and softer hearted Jacqueline (Melany Lynsky). Not longer after, Danielle's father dies leaving Rodmilla ruling the roost. You know what happens.. but you'll love just HOW it happens and who pops up to make it happen. The prince is played by Dougray Scott because, really.. isn't he everybody's prince?

This one is a little off the mainstream. Ok. A LOT off the mainstream but you have to trust me on this one too. It's really a spectacular movie.

The story follows the fabled Red Violin from it's creation and across three hundred years and a variety of people who possess it.. all with their own story of drama, tragedy and love.

You won't know anyone starring in it, save for Samuel L. Jackson, but relax on a quiet day and fall into the story.

I'll warn you, it does have subtitles.. at least the version I watch but you may be able to come across a copy that doesn't. All in all, it's well worth the effort .. especially the end when you find out just why the Red Violin is so damn special!

I'm sure you've heard of Ludwig Von Beethoven, right? The composer of some of the greatest classical music ever written? Sure you do.

But did you know that upon his death he wrote a love letter to his immortal beloved?

 But just who WAS his immortal beloved? Beethoven was kind of a cad in his day and upon his death, his last will and testament leaves his wealth to his greatest love so the movie is based on Beethoven's assistant, Schindler, trying to locate her. Although it is a work of fiction (the true woman was never identified conclusively for Beethoven scholars) it is moving.. and be prepared to go through a box of tissues when Gary Oldman (as Beethoven) puts his ear on the piano so he can "hear" it's vibrations. Isabella Rossellini and Valeria Golino also star.


Tristan (James Franco) is the second in line to the British throne. Isolde (the stunning Sophia Myles) is the princess of an Irish tribe that's feuding with the Brits.

You know nothing good is going to come of this .. because it wouldn't be a sweeping epic romantic love story if all was well right?

Set in the medieval country side, this tail isn't much different then any other movie where two lovers are from opposing sides and what they have to do to over come it .. but come on! It's JAMES FRANCO!! You can't watch this movie and not swoon at his mop of hair and six pack. It just can't be done... but it is a great love story. Honest.

You wouldn't think that a movie with Clint Eastwood and Meryl Streep would strike my fancy. I really not a fan of Eastwood so maybe it was because when I saw this movie I was in the middle of my own longing for a guy I couldn't have.

It's 1960. Robert Kincaid (Eastwood) is a photographer who happens to come across Italian immigrant Francesca (Streep),

Francesca's husband is away and for four days, these two come together (in more ways then one).. each painfully aware that what they've found in each other cannot be.. or last.

The acting is subtle .. how this situation is handled in it's time period is a lot different then how it would be handled today if Robert and Francesca would meet today. It's sad.. it's heartbreaking.. and if you don't reach for the tissue box then.. well.. there's something wrong with you!!


THE BAWLERS
just accept the fact that these will make you cry


Sorry.. but you can't go wrong with a movie that stars BOTH Gerald Butler and Jeffrey Dean Morgan!! My heart's palpating as I type.

Holly (Hilary Swank) is a widow, completely broken over the death of her husband Gerry (Gerald Butler). Nothing and no one can get her out of her funk until she receives a post mortum letter from Gerry... and then another.. and another.. and then a box.. and then another.

Gerry knew he was going to die and to help Holly heal, he sets her on a path through his letters and gifts that lead her back through their past and to a new future.

The supporting cast is great.. Kathy Bates, Lisa Kudrow, Gina Gershon and James Masters to name a few. It's funny.. it's sad.. it's just about everything except Gerald Butler naked and wrapped up in bow!

Ok.. you knew there had to be a Nicolas Spark's movie in here, right?

Well, ok .. a few.. but nobody raises Kleenex stock better or faster.

Noah (Ryan Gosling) is the boy from across the tracks who meets and falls in love with Allie (Rachel McAdams), the rich girl from the right side of the tracks. She falls back but it isn't long before the pressures of her social status dictate that she forgo her love and conform to the status quo.

 Noah doesn't give up quite that easily and his passion and longing would melt even the coldest of hearts. Gena Rowlands and James Gardner pop in the beginning and end to wrap this masterpiece up.

This is definitely a chick flick. No question about it but if you can get your man to watch it with you, so much more the better!

Another Nicholas Sparks!

Adrienne (Diane Lane) heads to babysit the North Carolina in owned by her friend, who is off to meet her boyfriend. Unhappily married with two kids, Adrienne needs the time away. Along comes Paul (Richard Gere) a prominent plastic surgeon who drives a Jag.

Paul is the only tenant unless you count the big hurricane that's storming up the coast. Over clanging shutters and whipping winds, Paul becomes less arrogant and Adrienne becomes less shy. A love blossom. But their days are numbered because Adrienne has to go back to her family and Paul needs to go over seas to make amends with his distant son who is doing charitable doctor work in a third world country. They stay in touch through letters... letters of love.. letters of longing.

You know how this ends.. but it doesn't make it hurt any less.

... and ANOTHER Nicholas Sparks!

This was actually a last minute add on but I'm glad it popped in my mind because I remember watching this, sitting on the edge of my bed with the silent tears just pouring down my cheeks.

But I'll deny it if you tell anyone!!

Theresa (Robin Wright.. does she still use Penn?) is a single mother and news reporter from Chicago who happens to come across a love letter in a bottle. Enthralled, she's able to trace it's origins and lands on the Outer Bank where she meets Garrett (Kevin Costner) and his father (Paul Newman.. a scene stealer!).

She knows that Garrett is the author.. scribing letters to his deceased wife but Garrett doesn't know that she knows. That is until he finally let's his guard down, realizes there's another woman who can hold his heart and travels to Chicago to surprise her. There, he finds his letters in his bedroom.

There's conflict.. he leaves.. but soon realizes that he loves her so he takes his sailboat and begins to navigate his way to her.

Look. This is Nicolas Sparks. You KNOW what happens and like Nights in Rodanthe, knowing it doesn't make it any less heart breaking.

THE TIME SPLITS
centuries apart .. worlds apart.. how the hell is this going to happen?

Richard Collier (Christopher Reeve) is a successful playwright but is having a bit of a crisis. He has writer's block, his girlfriend left him.. you know, the usual. To get away from it all, he takes a vacation to the Grand Hotel.. the sight of his first successful play a decade prior.

Touring the grounds, he sees the portrait of a turn of the century actress Elise (Jane Seymour) and he's smitten. Really, really smitten. He talks to an old bell hop that was a child living at the hotel and knew the actress. With his help and with the help of an old college professor who believed that self-hypnosis can initiate time travel, Richard goes on a mission to find Elise.

He does.. and they fall in love. But her manager (Christopher Plummer) doesn't want this union to be because he fears Elise would compromise her career.. and his income.

Look, I don't pretend to understand time travel. If I think too much about it, my  head starts to hurt but this has got to be one of the greatest romantic movies ever filmed. If you haven't already, watch it. You won't be disappointed.

If you're as old as I am, then you'll remember this as a television show back in the 70's, I believe.

But I'm not talking about the show, I'm talking about the movie staring Gene Tierney and Rex Harrison.

In 1900, widow Lucy Muir (Tierney) moves into a seaside cottage with her young daughter Anna (Natalie Wood, if you can believe it!). The house is haunted by the craggly Capt Daniel Gregg. At first frightened, but not enough to leave, Lucy and the captain come to an understanding where the ghost would only appear to her.

Having lost her source of income, the captain suggests she write his autobiography and have it published. Telling her and being told of his exploits turns into love but the captain knows that Lucy and he will never be so he leaves her.. insisting she find a live man to share her life.

She does, but it ends badly and she resigns herself to live alone at the cottage with just memories of the captain until she eventually passes away and meets with him once again.

After watching this, there is NO WAY you can tell me that you didn't get lost in it! They just don't make movies like this any more! BTW .. watch the black and white copy.. so much better!

Brad Pitt plays "Death" who decides to take a holiday from the daily grind and immerse himself into the world. Needing a guide, he appears to William Parrish (Anthony Hopkins), a media mogul who may not have been the best person in life.

Parrish agrees to be Death's guide of sorts and it's funny to see his learning process. Death may find out that he likes peanut butter, he also finds out that he like Parrish's daughter Susan (Claire Forlani) more and she likes him back.

Claire already has a boyfriend who isn't too thrilled with this new dude and Parrish himself, is having some type of attack of conscience along with suspicions that the family members he has on his board may not have his best interests in mind.

Every thing comes to a head on the night of Parrish's birthday .. a scene which still gives me the chills.

I love this movie! So under rated! And it stars Richard Dreyfuss, who would have thought it!

Pete (Dreyfuss) pilots an airplane that dumps water on forest fires. He's a daredevil, much to the chagrin of his girlfriend Dorinda (Holly Hunter) and his best friend Al (John Goodman).

Pete loves Dorinda enough that he agrees to give up piloting and take a job as a trainer instead. But after coming to this conclusion, the alarms sound and there is one last forest fire that Pete needs to take care of. As it goes, Al's plane is in trouble and to save his friend, Pete flies a series of acrobatic maneuvers that saves Al but ends his life.

On the other side, he meets Hap (Audrey Hepburn in her last role, I think) who tells him that he must now be a spirit guide to a new pilot. His inner voice, so to speak.

Fast foward six months and Pete is now the inner voice of Ted, a new pilot that is flying out of his old airport.. making friends with his old friend Al and falling in love with Dorinda.

And that's all I'm going to tell you .. this is another must watch and damp hanky movie!

What's a list without City of Angels?? I could watch this over and over and over again and still have the same reaction!

Seth (Nicolas Cage) is an angel that escorts the newly dead to the light (so to speak) and  starts becoming close to Dr. Maggie (Meg Ryan) when she tries desperately to convince one of her patients' to have open heart surgery. He admires her determination and love of life. Seth makes the decision to appear to her and a friendship ensues .. and something more.

He wants to be with her.. and when her boyfriend proposes, Seth decides to exercise his free will and become human.

The love between Seth and Maggie is consumated in one night of blissful passion but when Maggie leaves to go to a store the following morning, she his hit by a car and dies.

This is an oldie.. but definitely one that I'll watch until I can't watch it no more!

Captain Entienne Navarre (Rutger Hauer) escapes from the Bishop's guard with his love, Lady Isabeau (Michelle Pfieffer) but not before they are cursed by the Bishop who loves her and wants her as his own.

Navarre transforms into a wolf by night.. Isabeau a hawk by day.. mandating that they can never be together in the way they want to.

Both meet Philipe Gastone (a very young Matthew Broderick), a thief also trying to escape the guard. Together the threesome travel the countryside to make their way back to the Bishop and force him to lift the curse.

This is another movie set in Medieval times and also is loaded with springy one lines and comedic moments.

Would you travel through time to hook up with Hugh Jackman?

Yea.. thought so!

Leopold (Jackman) is an 1876 dreamer who is the thorn in the side of his Uncle, who wants him to marry an rich American woman and restore the family fortunes.

Kate (Meg Ryan) is a 21st century career woman who lives with her brother Charlie (Breckin Meyer) and who's ex-boyfriend Stuart (Liev Schrieber) lives in the apartment above them.

Stuart finds a time portal and on his return to the present, winds up taking Leopold with him. The portal won't open again for another week, and Leopold is to stay out of sight until then but as luck would have it, Stuart has an accident and winds up in mental ward leaving Leopold to investigate a world new to him and finding Kate.

This is actually a romantic comedy but because of the time theme, I put it here.

The ALL TIME in All Time Romantic Movies. Ack! Who just doesn't LOVE Ghost? And after twenty years, you still have the same reactions and emotions when you watch it!

Sam Wheat (Patrick Swayze) and Molly Jensen (Demi Moore) are young and in complete and absolute blissful love but one night, Sam is mugged and is killed. Now a ghost, he comes to the realization that his dead was not random and that Molly is in danger.

Oda Mae (Whoppi Goldberg) is a fake psychic who starts receiving messages from Sam and convinces her to get Molly to understand that she in danger and that his love for her will never end.

Jeez.. I'm tearing up just writing this!

THE OLD SCHOOL
when you're as old as I am, the 80's seem forever ago


I don't care how old I get.. this will always be one of my all time favorite movies! I can literally recite the whole script verbatim and still play the soundtrack!

Keith (Eric Stolz) is the son of a blue collar guy who wants nothing more then to see his son go to college. Keith works at a gas station frequented by the rich kids, one of whom has a girlfriend by the name of Amanda Jones (Lea Thompson) and who Keith has an undying love for.

Amanda happens to be from the "other" side of the track too but does what she needs to do to be with the "in" crowd.. even if it means giving up her integrity.

Keith's best friend Watts (Mary Stuart Masterson), is the tomboy that secretly loves Keith.. hates Amanda.. and has no clue what to do about either.

It's a great flick with a great ending. If you haven't seen it before, watch it. Take my word on this.

This one is classic. My classic anyway.. another John Hughes' flick.. and another one that I can recite verbatim.

And OMG.. the SOUNDTRACK!! Like SKOW, I still play this one routinely! Makes me almost want to wear blue eyeliner again. A little.

The story is routine. Andie Walsh (Molly Ringwald) is the poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks with an alcoholic father and a mother who took off when she was young. She falls for rich boy Blane (Andrew McCarthy) who lets pressure from his richie friends pull them apart.

Everybody loves Andie though, including her geeky sidekick Ducky (Jon Cryer) and Blane's best friend Steff (James Spader) who goes out of his way to make Blane's life miserable because he wants Andy for himself.

Throw in the quirky Iona (Annie Potts) as Andie's boss with her head stuck in her own teenage years and you get more then enough to keep you interested.

Back when Whitney Houston WAS Whitney Houston, she starred in this little itty bitty movie with Kevin Costner called The Bodyguard. Whenever I want to drool over Kevin Costner, THIS is the movie I think of.

Rachel Marron (Houston) is an international superstar that is on somebody's hit list. To protect herself, her kid and her sister she hires Frank Farmer (Costner) a body guard extraordinaire at the request of her manager.

There's no doubt that somebody wants Rachel dead... there's no doubt that she and Frank are destined to fall in love.. there's also no doubt that they're not going to wind up together.

With all that said, you can't help but feel for both of them when they say their last goodbye.

We're going WAY back now.

Back in the day, there was a movie out staring a VERY young Nicolas Cage as an LA quasi-punk rocker who falls head over heels for the ultimate in ultimate valley girls, Julie.

Again, it's the same story. Peer pressure, status pressure, social pressure that breaks them a part but how can ANY movie that has Human League's I'll Melt For You as it's theme song bad? Right? I mean, RIGHT?

This doesn't come on very often but when it does.. and IF you were all gag me with a spoon when you were young, then watch it. I guarantee you'll love it!


THE DATE NIGHT
the ones you've been waiting for that your man won't mind seeing

Did you see this? If not, you really have to. This is probably one of the best movies I've seen is years and it's pure Sandra Bullock. She's really an awesome actress.. you can read every emotion on her face no matter how subtle.

Margaret (Bullock) is a big wig at a publishing house and a Canadian transplant. Andrew (Ryan Reynolds) is her personal assistant, a would be writer who can't get his foot in the door.

Turns out that there is an issue with Margaret's visa and she black mails Andrew into marrying her by dangling a book deal in front of her. Andrew is on his way to his grandmother's birthday in his native Alaska and Margaret tags along. What ensues is nothing short of hysterics with Betty White completely stealing the movie with every scene she's in.

Want to talk 80's flash back complete with red leather jackets, winged hair and Madonna inspired lace
gloves.

Robbie (Adam Sandler) is the wedding singer of 80's hits. Julia (Drew Barrymore) is a waitress at the catering hall where Robbie plays. Each are involved with other people but their friendship soon developes into something more.

There are SO many funny moments in this flick .. I mean, come on, it's Adam Sandler for God's sake.. and so many good songs that bring back so many memories.. good and bad. If you're an 80's baby.. or you want to know about the 80's.. this is the movie to watch.

A month before Christmas in London and eight very different couples with eight very different problems are trying to figure out their lives. New relationships begin.. old relationships end.. there's unrequited love.. there's extra marital love.. there's love that developes on the set of a porno. No lie!

This is an all star cast including Keira Knightly, Colin Firth, Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson and Liam Neeson just to name a few. It's the who's who of English actors, actually but don't let that throw you.

Love, Actually is sad, funny, happy, screwball and has THE best and cheesiest scene where a guy named Mark (Andrew Lincoln) expresses his love to the object of his heart, who's already engaged, by knocking on her door and silently flipping through cue cards.

Each of the couples interact in some way so there's no disconnect with randomness.

Actually, I think I'm going to watch this movie tonight!

Another British import.. and another staring Hugh Grant.

Bridget Jones' (Renee Zellweger) can't do anything right. She's goofy and is always coming under the attack of her mother because of her single status and weight. Trying to improve her life, she starts keeping a diary and takes a job working for a news station. There she meets Daniel Cleaver (Hugh Grant) the office lethargio who doesn't mind Bridget's curves and so begins the affair she's been waiting for. Also enter childhood friend Marc Darcy (Colin Firth) who loves Bridget too.. maybe even more.

Who does she wind up giving her heart to and how? You'll have to watch and find out.

Jennifer Lopez is quietly rivaling the likes of Meg Ryan and Drew Barrymore as America's Sweetheart of Romantic Comedies. Think about it .. The Wedding Planner.. Maid in Manhatten.. Monster In Law.. and now The Back Up Plan.

Zoe (Lopez) is at the time of her life where she wants a baby.. even though she's single with no prospects on the horizon. The day she gets inseminated (with twins!) she meets the man of her dreams in Stan (Alex O'Loughlin.. and where did this chunk of melting butterscotch come from?? ).

Stan's a good guy and initially embraces the fact that the girl he falls in love with is pregnant but going through a hormonal pregnancy and then the actual babies becomes too much to deal with .. especially when dealing with their mother.

This is a great movie, regardless of what the critics say and it's great to see Jennifer back on the screen!

Sandra Bullock again .. Hugh Grant again .. do you see a trend here? You'd think these two were bred for romantic comedies!

Lucy (Bullock) is one of those lawyers who champion the underdog.. complete with activist parents. George Wade (Grant) is a mogul who likes buildings even if it means tearing down historical buildings.

Lucy goes to work for George but soon finds out that he's more of a child with a pocket full of money who can't make a decision to save his life and starts relying solely on Lucy in every aspect of his life instead of just in the office.

These two are made for each other.. on screen and off!

Okay, I have to stop here or else I'll just go on and on and on and I don't think BlogSpot would appreciate me taking up all this room on their servers. Is there even a word limit??

At any rate, some others that I didn't get too but are just as good:


  • Never Been Kissed (Drew Barrymore and Michael Vartan)
  • One Fine Day (Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney)
  • Sweet Home Alabama (Reese Witherspoon and Josh Lucas)
  • Only You (Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr.)
  • Serendipity (Kate Beckinsale and John Cusak)

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Review: The Green Hornet

I'm not a comic book person .. not a super-hero person .. not a cartoon person ..

I don't do Superman .. don't to Batman.. don't do whatever other super-hero comes to life on the big screen.

Not my gig so when I tell you that I was NOT looking forward to seeing The Green Hornet then trust.

I was NOT looking forward to sitting through this movie and had all kids of diversions set up on my iPod Touch to make the 119 minutes bearable.

I was wrong.

Even though this IS your typical super hero movie, Seth Rogan as the under achieving son of a newspaper owner brings a whole other dimension to the other wise stoic Bruce Waynes and Clark Kents of the comic world.

Throw in Jay Chou as THE perfect Kato since Bruce Lee (Tim's opinion because he knows about this stuff more then I do) and you have a movie that was action packed and funny enough to keep even me entertained.

Believe me, that's saying something.

Cameron Diaz, in her role as Lenore the secretary, is also more of an asset then eye candy.

Good flick.. glad I watched.

Review: No Strings Attached

Even though I'm SO not a fan of Ashton Kutcher, I've loved Natalie Portman since The Professional so when the opportunity came to see this, I tucked my personal feelings for AK aside. Honestly, I wasn't expecting much. Just another screwball comedy filled with immature innuendos and gratuitous fluff.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

Definitely an adult movie where you can relate to each character because they're real. Real issues.. real problems.. real feelings.. real experiences. The comedy.. while sometimes over the top.. is truly funny and not written to dumb down the audience.

Yes, it's "boy meets girl" but with a twist.

Emma (Portman) and Adam (Kutcher) meet as children in summer camp. The movie opens with Adam upset that his famous father is divorcing his mother. Emma feeble attempt to console him speaks volumes to her inability to open her emotions.. even at a young age.

Over the years, the two keep running into each other until, in present day, both are in the same place at the same time. But time breeds experiences that breeds maladjustment.

Emma is walled off .. fiercely independent and used to calling the shots. Adam is the sensitive, touch-feely type guy who longs for his father to be anything but the over-aged man trying to restore his youth.

Their No String's Attached relationship begins one night when Adam finds himself hung over in Emma's apartment .. a scene that is completely hysterical.

She wants him without the relationship .. He wants her, basically any way he can get her so he's happy to go along with it until the inevitable happens and feelings start to bubble.

Everything about this movie is on point.. the acting (even by the supporting cast including Kevin Kline and Ludacris) ..  the script .. and the emotions and situations the writer's wanted to convey.

Tim even loved this movie even though he didn't want to. His impression was that Ashton Kutcher finally grew out of his "goofball" characters and represented something real.

I had to agree.

Two thumbs up for this and go ahead.. spring for the nacho chips and hot dog. You won't mind spending the money.


Thursday, February 10, 2011

Recap: Teen Mom Season 2 (so far)

Disclaimer: I really shouldn't write posts at 4:30am when I've had too much coffee!

So with nothing to do for the last few hours I caught up on all the TM2 episodes and all I got to say is:

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

These people need reality CHECKS not reality SHOWS .. and by "checks" I don't mean the ones you can cash at the bank.

Let's start with the ultimate spoiled barbie CHELSEA:

We already know that her baby's daddy is a ballon know... calling the baby "a mistake" .. telling her she's fat and has stretch marks .. blah blah blah. We also know that for some still-unexplained reason, her father agreed to pay her rent and costs of living to move into a house with her best friend Megan WITH the stipulation that she stays in school.

Um... yea...

Because EVERY 18 year old with a baby is going to focus on her school work when she's living by herself with her best friend and only has nothing else to worry about but school.

Great parenting decision there, dad!

So you know what happens.. Life-size barbie ISN'T doing her school work AND falls back under the charms of the balloon-know daddy. Oh! But he's changed! Oh! He needs a place to stay wants to be in his baby's life! Oh! He still wants to be on an MTV show LOVES her!

What does she do? Moves him in, of course.. and because, you know, she's mature enough to know that she has daddy wrapped around her little finger that she doesn't want him to know because he may just cut off her funding. Yea.. like that's going to happen.

Because what does daddy say when he DOES find out that the balloon knot moved in? Does he go off the deep end? Does he tell her to pack her shit and get her ass home? Does he tell her that the United Bank of Dad is closing and there will be no stimulus money to bail her out?

Nope.

He tells her that Balloon Knot is going to have to pitch in on the bills. Tough stuff you do there, dad!

We all know how this is going to play out .. but at this point, she's made her own bed. Let's just hope she doesn't get sperminated again when she lays in it.

One other thing:

Did anybody else find it weird when Megan called Aubree ".. our baby?" .. hmmm.

Ok.. so moving on to LEAH,  her cutie-patootie baby daddy COREY and their twins.

You know the story.. Leah busted up with her long term boyfriend.. hooked up with Corey and within a month or so was pregnant with twins. She cheated on Corey.. He wanted her back.. She didn't want him back.. He cheated on her.. She wanted him back.. He didn't want her back.. and so on and so on. But faced with the fact that there may be something seriously wrong, medically, with one of their babies they got back together and fast tracked their relationship by moving in together like.. 10 minutes after they decided to rekindle.

It may not sound like it.. but I really like these two. Or maybe I just really like Corey and the fact that he's not shying away from being a father. Or maybe I just like their accents. Who the hell knows at this point.

Leah had been living in a trailer with the girls before getting back together with Corey. A fairly nice trailer. I've seen some that were WAY nicer then my house. This wasn't one of them but it was more nice then not. But when they decide to move in together, Corey suggests they get a new place closer to his job.. which meant 45 minutes further from Leah's family and friends.

And can I ask exactly where do they live? I've been trying to rent a new place for the last five months with no luck and here they go looking at a place and the landlady shoves a lease at them and says SIGN HERE!! SIGN HERE!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SIGN HERE!! Really, is it that easy where they live?

On second thought, I take all that back. The trailer they moved into was worse then a dump. Calling it "white trash" would be a HUGE compliment. No wonder the landlady was all ready with the paper work and no credit checks or reference calling.

It really is a shame but look, you have to do what you have to do.. I just don't understand why they couldn't move onto Corey's father's phat property?

And you know.. now Leah is starting to feel caged and she wants to go to nursing school but isn't going to be able to and sounds like she's starting to resent Corey because she does nothing but take care of the babies 24/7 and hearing her mom say that that's what she's suppose to do because Corey is the one providing for the family .. blah blah blah.. You're a momma, Leah. You have no life.. and will have no life until the girls get into school full time. Just accept, girlfriend... and continue to keep that flat iron away from your left side bangs! You're doing good!

There's nothing new regarding the baby's medical issues. She's too young for an MRI just yet.

All righty then.. moving right along to season problem child JANELLE

Ooohhh.. where to begin.. where to begin..

So we know that Janelle was Wild Child Extraordinaire.. never met a party.. bottle or bud that she didn't like. Or man, apparently because now questions have surfaced regarding who actually is the father of her baby Jace. We know that the alleged father is completely out of the picture but send child support.. we know that Janelle gave up custody to her fucking lunatic of a mother temporarily.. and we know that she hooked up with a new boyfriend Keiffer that she subsequently got arrested with not too long ago.

After watching four or five episodes in a row, let me tell you something.. Janelle is the way Janelle is because of her mother. I'm sorry.. I know people make their own choices in life but honestly, I think I would have cold cocked that weird talking mofo a long time ago.

This kid just can't do anything right .. and so she does everything wrong. Her mother CONSTANTLY berates her and tries to control her and yells at her and puts her down at every opportunity. It was hard to watch and I really did feel for her when she broke down after her mother's boyfriend started doing the same thing to her. In tears she told him that her mother never told her she loves her.. never hugs her.. and even though Keiffer was absolutely right when he said that sometimes Janelle brings it on herself, this is a lost, broken girl.

I hope she gets her shit together.. and once she does, I hope she gets Jace back and tells her << insert the worst dirogatory word you can think of here >> mother where to stick it.

Last but certainly not least :: I saved my favorite for last :: is KAILYN

This girl is stuck between a rock and hard place. Like Janelle, she's broken and lost. Unlike Janelle, this girl is a survivor. I just don't think she knows it yet.

Kailyn has a mother who's more interested in her man-of-the-moment then her daughter and grandson. There also must be some drug/alcohol/domestic abuse thing going on because she's repeatedly said that her mother's place isn't safe for baby Isaac. Her father lives down south and doesn't want nothing to do with her. I'm sure if pressed, he'd want to do a DNA test because Kailyn's mother seems like the type where there will always be a question of DNA ..

At any rate.. she hooks up with the King of the Douchebags :: I refuse to say his name :: a his apparently semi-affluent parents agree to have Kailyn live with them. Everybody in that house seemed to treat her like the ugly step sister. It seemed like she always had to walk on eggshells because they held the power to make her homeless and take her kid.

When the Douchebag King didn't want to deal with her anymore and broke up with her.. she was moved to the basement. Feeling alone.. she welcomed the attention of a male co-worker. A simple minded boy but none the less, someone who I guess made her feel good about herself and gave her the chance to get out of the basement and away from the cold glares of the Puppet Masters.

But they all found out about it and jumped on the poor girl's shit and basically said without saying the words that if she wanted a boyfriend, she can go live with him.. that under THEIR roof, she was their prisoner. Of course, she told the dude she couldn't see him anymore.

Then the Douchbag King wanted her back.. of course he did. You always want what you didn't want but somebody else does.. but then things started going haywire with the Puppet Masters and the Douchbag King got kicked out.

Which means that Kailyn got kicked out.

He took the baby to another state to stay with an aunt and told Kailyn that they would move there. She doesn't want to.. her job and her school are both local. He starts jumping down her throat about being selfish and only wanting what she wants.

Listen DOUCHEBAG: YOU have a job... SHE has a job.. BOTH jobs are local. You NEED jobs to afford an apartment .. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU MOVE TO ANOTHER STATE WHERE YOU DIDN'T HAVE A JOB??

After meeting up at a diner to discuss what they needed to do, Kailyn knows that moving in with the King of Douchebags may be a little easier financially.. but isn't going to be good for the baby because of the way they fight.

Like I said.. this girl is a survivor. It's going to be tough on her but she'll end up on her feet.
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