Review: Devil

M. Night Shyamalan is back!

After the mega success of The Sixth Sense, his movies seemed to slowly roll down the hill.

I mean, Unbreakable was a movie I had to watch a few times in order to appreciate it .. Signs go really.. really hokey at the end with the whole alien finger under the door stuff .. I thought The Village showed some an upswing but then by the time The Lady In The Water and The Happening came out I no longer got excited anymore by his films.

I only watched Devil because 1) I was bored and 2) My cousin Charlie raved about it on a Facebook post.

Yea.. I'm just soooo discriminating, huh? LOL!

Anyway.. I'm glad I was bored and that Charlie raved about it because this movie.. THIS movie is CLASSIC Shyamalan!

The premise seems simple. Five people get stuck in an elevator. But it never is simple.. and OMG!! I so want to get into the plot and everything but I SOOOO don't want to ruin it for anybody.

Ok.. so there's the Detective, who's 90 days sober after coming to terms with the hit and run death of his wife and son. He gets a call about a suicide and while he's checking that out, receives another call about the people stuck in the elevator, one of whom seems to have been assaulted.

And it all goes from there..

And like classic Shyamalan, you have no clue what your going to get banged with in the last 10 minutes.

The movie is only 80 minutes or so.. not very long.. but it will keep you on the edge of your seat.

My only regret is that I ran out of Gummi Bears five minutes into the movie.

Watch this. I guarantee you'll be talking about it every chance you get to every one you see!

Review: Tomorrow When The War Began

Are you old enough to remember 1984's Red Dawn? The movie that had teenage girls drooling over Patrick Swayze and C Thomas Howell as mid western teens who band together with the friends to fight off the Russians who invade their town?

Fast forward 20 some odd years and you have Tomorrow When The War Began.

Tim's been after me to watch this movie but you know, I'm well past the age of drooling over young studs (*cough*) banding together when their town gets rolled over by a foreign army.

OR so I thought.

With nothing else better on the horizon, I conceded.

And I'm glad I did.

After spending the weekend in the bush, seven friends return home to find the families gone and their town and farms deserted. They quickly find out that a foreign army (not named but Asian by the actor portrayal) have invaded their place in Australia.

So what do they do? Do they hide? Do they become martyrs? What CAN they do?

Well, of course they do something. It wouldn't be a movie otherwise.. but what was intriguing was how morality played with their minds and hearts.

I'm not going to get into specific plot scenes for a reason. Researching the movie, I found out that the story came from the first of a seven book series written by John Marsden. I had thought that the movie ended rather abruptly but realized that the end left the window open for sequels.

Although I thought that some scenes were unbelievable, the story centers more on how these kids had to cope with losing their families, stepping out into a war and relying on their instincts to carry them through.

It was a good movie.. so good that I'm going to order the series to find out what happened. Definitely 2 thumbs up.

Review: Cyrus

If you were thinking (like I was) that this movie was going to be in the category of The 40 Year Old Virgin or Hot Tub Time Machine then you're going to be WAY off base.

The premise is ripe for that type of comedy:

Lonely, depressed man (John C. Reilly) fall for lonely, depressed woman (Marisa Tomei) who has an adult son (Jonah Hill) who's maybe just a little bit too close to his mother.

Can you just come up with about 50 or so potential scenes that would have you busting a gut?

Yea.

Me too.

Only this isn't a comedy like that. It's not even a dark comedy. It's really just bizarre. Too bizarre even for me.  And I like bizarre. But this is like, weirdo bizarre.

Reilly's John meets Tomei's Molly at a party where his ex wife and her future husband insist on getting him wrecked so that he can loosen up and meet women. He bombs.. of course.. but winds up striking up a convo with Molly as he pees in a bush. He appreciates her banter.. She appreciates his willingness to sing Human League karaoke. They hook up after the party and he drops head over heels over lose all sense of thinking ability.

John learns about Cyrus when he stalks her house while she's at work and Cyrus invites him in. There's something off about him.. there's something off about how he interacts with his mother.. there's just something off about the whole damn thing and it's creepy.

It takes John a while, but pretty soon he catches on that Cyrus is hell bent on breaking him and his mother up because he wants her all to himself. Molly is so wrapped up in her son (there's a picture of her breast feeding him when he was like, 7 or something) and can't admit the fact that this kid is 22 that it destroys the relationship.

I guess if I hadn't already had it in my mind that this was going to be one of those gross over the top comedies, I may have been able to get into it for what it is.. but you know, one of the first scenes is of John's ex wife catching him masturbating while he insists he just has jock itch so I don't think I'm wrong in expecting a different kind of movie. Plus, it was draggy.. very, very draggy.. omg.. SO draggy!

So no, I can't recommend this one. In fact, I can't even think of an instance where you'd want to watch it so just forget it even exists.

Review: The Tourist

If you need any further evidence that the universe is off kilter and maybe.. just maybe the Mayan's were right about the world ending in 2012.. then let me offer this:

There would have been NO WAY to convince me that I would not love a movie with both Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp.

But then comes The Tourist.

I think, perhaps, this was suppose to be a different movie. Maybe one with just the right mix of sarcasm, wit and intelligence.

Hell.. maybe even one with a good script.

Hell.. MAYBE even one with good acting??????

Oh how it pains me to say these things!!

You know the story, right? European Femme Fatal seduces dopey American only to have Dopey American fall in love with her and screw up the plan that caused her to involve him in the first place.

It's been done before.. only better.

Angie's looking haggard (guess six kids will do that to you) and while she's always been easier on MY eyes, she had my ears bleeding with her fake British accent. It's almost as bad as Demi Moore's in The Scarlet Letter. Trust on that one.

Johnny Depp, as the Dopey American, practically sleep walks through the movie. It was all I could do to keep from shouting, "... come the hell ON, will ya?" .. Yes. That bad.

I will say that the movie redeemed itself in the 10 minutes or so but really, it was far too little.. far too late.

Pass on this one.. I wouldn't even part with a buck at the Red Box for it.

Good Eats: Saltine Toffee Cookies

You are going to HATE me.

No.

Really.

You are.

No question.

The other day I was over at my mom's. She had been to an Cookie Exchange with my aunt and came away with a sandwich baggy full of these creamy, caramel-ly, squares of mmm mmm goodness!

Now, I'm not a chocolate eater. I'm a caramel eater, no doubt.. but chocolate ain't really my gig but these were too awesome to not have in my possession. When I got home at around 10-ish, I told Tim that he absolutely, positively HAD TO EAT ONE RIGHT NOW.

Big mistake.

He killed the baggy in about 7 minutes. The whole baggy. Leaving none for me. I soooo didn't have any sympathy when he spend the rest of the night with his head in the toilet.

Anyway .. here's the recipe. It's really easy to make.

Ingredients
4 oz saltine crackers
1 cup butter
1 cup dark brown sugar
2 cups semi sweet chocolate chips
3/4 chopped nuts

Directions
Preheat oven to 400
Line cookie sheet with saltine crackers in a single layer
In a sauce pan, combine the sugar and the butter. Bring to a boil and boil for 3 minutes.
Immediately pour over saltines and spread it over crackers completely
Bake at 400 degrees for 5 to 6 minutes
Remove from oven and sprinkle chocolate chips over the top
Let sit for 5 minutes
Spread melted chocolate and top with chopped nuts
Cool completely and break into pieces

THAT'S IT!!! Can you STAND it?? Who's going to make these more then just at Christmas time?? And the best is, you can get as creative as you want to get with the toppings... how about mint chocolate?? Hmmm? Or crushed peppermint sticks?? Hmmmmmm???  Yeaaaa... I thought so!!

If you're a little uncomfortable with making your own caramel, you can always just melt the already made ones.. just a thought.

So yea.. give these a bake and let me know how you like them!

Review: Black Swan

Three words:

WATCH

THIS

MOVIE

Omg.. Omg.. Omg.. O. M. F. G.!!

I watch A LOT of movies.. and this has got to be the best one I've seen in a long.. long.. LONG.. time.

Adjectives don't justify.

Really. It's that phenomenal.

I'll write a full review soon .. right now, I'm so over whelmed I'm going to download the score from Swan Lake on my iPod and dance around in tights.

Review: Letters To God

There's been a lot written about having the faith of a child. People who've studied the Bible WAY more then I have can spend hours debating and analyzing the words of Jesus.

But to me, that's the whole point.

Children don't over analyze. Don't search for hidden meanings. Things are what they are..

I've been wanting to see this movie for a long time and finally had the opportunity to last night.

Tanner Maguire plays Tyler, a kid with brain cancer. A kid with brain cancer that lost his dad to a tragic accident.

He writes letters to God daily and pops them in the mailbox to be delivered. But where do they go?

The temporary mailman, Brady (played by Jeffery Johnson.. who looks so much like Greg Kinnear that I didn't realize it wasn't him until the end of the movie) wonders the same thing.

Brady lost his wife.. his kid.. his life to alcohol and a DUI and has only kept his job because his boss has a soft spot for him.

He doesn't know what to do with the letters and figures he'll take them to the local church and leave them for the Pastor to deal with. Only the Pastor has other ideas. He tells Brady that the letters were put in his hands for a reason and he has to let God speak to him to find out what should be done with them.

Make no  mistake that this movie is about the greatness of God.. how He does not give us more then we can handle.. how faith can lead us to the wonder's of God's grace.

The movie also stars Robyn Lively as Tyler's mother Maddie.. soap queen Maree Cheatham as Tyler's grandmother and Ralph Waite (good night, John Boy!) as the gumpy neighbor who is anything but when explaining to Tyler why kids in school make fun of him.

This isn't a movie for everyone.. but it is a movie for those who enjoy celebrating God or who need to find the party.

Review: The Last Seven

You know... there's something about productions coming out of England. They're just.. I don't know how to explain it.. a step up?

Dunno.. maybe it's just the accents.

At any rate..

If you like WFT??? movies.. this is the one for you.

If you like movies that keep you on your toes and where you have to pay attention to everything on the screen (anyone remember Memento?) then this is DEFINITELY the movie for you.

You can kind of figure out by the title and tagline that this is a movie where one day, there's only 7 people left in London.

But why?

That's what's going to have you asking until the very end of the film.

Until then, you'll watch 7 people with onset amnesia trying to figure out what the hell happened and what the hell all those puzzle pieces of memory that snap in and out of their head is all about.

Gradually, the pieces start coming together and depending on how daft you are (how's that for being non-insulting??) will depend on when you figure it out.

It'll be fun if you commented on who you think this dude is on the right..

He's one of those silly things that me and Tim argue about.

So yea.. I didn't think I'd be as into this movie as I was since I wasn't familiar with any of the cast but I'm glad I gave it a chance.

Highly recommended.

Review: Life As We Know It

Ok.. guys?

If you think this is just your routine chick flick, then I think you ought to know that even the Man's Man that is Tim loved it. And believe me, he would rather gouge his eyeballs out with a dull spoon then watch a chick flick.

It really is that good.

Predictable.. yes. You know from the first frame of the film that Katherine Heigl (her generation's Meg Ryan) and Josh Duhamel (ANY  generation's poster boy for O.M.f.G!) are going to be together by the last frame.

It's the getting there that is hysterical.

Heigl's Molly is one of those bougie organic eatery owners who has a list for everything including her perfect man. She's uptight enough to make you roll your eyes but not so uptight that she's irritating.

Duhamel's Messer is a typical guy's guy with the dream job.. working in the camera booth for the local NBA team. He's everything she's not.. which makes them so perfect together. A fact not missed by their best friends, the parents of a toddler, who bequeath the baby to Holly and Messer in their will.

Of course, the parents die and the hilarity begins.

You have the obligatory changing the dirty diaper scenes.. and can't get the baby to stop crying scenes .. and the realization that life as they knew it had changed scenes.. but they're smartly written and well acted and just different from what's been done before.

I have to say though.. that as much as I could just stare and drool at Josh Duhamel, the scene stealer is Sarah Burns as the social worker. She only has three or four scenes but each one kept getting funnier and funnier.

Josh Lucas ( of Poseidon, Sweet Home Alabama and quivering thighs with heart flutters)also takes a spin playing Holly's almost love interest.

You won't be disappointed. Definitely two thumbs up and worth springing for the popcorn, nachos and big box of raisenettes!

Review: Skating With The Stars

Ok.. so.

Skating With The Stars isn't something that I would normally watch.. or go out of my way to remember taping but I like Bethenny Frankel. She is what she is and makes no apologies for it. It's one of the reasons why I think she's exploded in pop culture. At almost 40, she's not only a reality show star (RHWONY, Bethenny Getting Married? and soon, Bethenny Ever After), a wife, mother, chef, writer and entrepreneur among other things.

To me, she has a lot to be admired for but you know, that's opinion. You either love her or hate her.

Obviously, the judges of SWTS (particularly Johnny Weir) hate her. And for what?

From the beginning, the judges: Weir, Dick Button (who really needs to lay off the leery sauce) and Lorianne somebody, a choreographer who honestly believes that everyone in the universe knows who she is (hint: WRONG, girlfriend) they were throwing Bethenny under the bus. Here's a woman who is handling her business AND still jetting across the country weekly to put on ice skates and perform. You'd think that they would commend that.

You'd think.

But I think what got their panties all up in a twist is that Bethenny truly has it all. And that annoys them. Particularly Johnny Weir who during the first or second episode tells her that skating has to be the be all and the end all in her life.

Um. No. It doesn't. Maybe for YOUR life, Johnny, because that's your CAREER.. but this was suppose to be just a fun show and excuse the women who's main priority is her family and the business' that support that family.

I missed a few episodes but apparently, the judges reactions to her performances were so harsh that Bethenny went on record saying that she didn't care what they thought of her.. she was there to have fun.. to have fun with her partner and that's exactly what she's doing.

After her performance last night, Dick Button referred to her as the "Bristol Palin of SWTS" .. I mean, really? What's your obsession people?? And then Weir said that if SHE didn't care what the judges think that HE doesn't care to watch her perform.

Can you say BRAT?

Did someone not tell him OR Dick Button that THIS was NOT an International Figure Skating Event OR an Olympic event?? It's a TV Show for God's sake, people!!

There's no doubt in anyone's mind.. including Bethenny's .. that she's not going to make it to the finals. And while the judges all pat themselves on the back and gloat when she finally leaves the ice, who's actually the winner? Someone who went with the spirit of the competition and had fun pushing to do things they didn't think possible or Johnny Weir?

Go frolic in your closets, boys.. you know you just wish you had her fabulous life.. and her freakin' hot husband Jason!

Bizarro: Reborn Babies

Let me just state for the record that dolls and clowns scare the willies out of me and that I think I've finally come to the conclusion that I need to really.. REALLY.. try to sleep at 3am instead of watching BBC America documentaries.

Is it me or does all of England suffer from one type of mental disorder or another? Because so far, I've seen men who have "plastic" girlfriends .. one guy even had multiple ones and he would stage cat fights. Sweet. Really? No.

There's been adult men who get off wearing diapers and being treated like a baby .. too warped to even think about.

And now, Reborn Babies.

Ok, so this isn't strictly a Brit thing but still.

So Reborns are baby dolls. LIFE like baby dolls. TOO life like if you ask me ( and some of the husband's that appeared in the documentary ) .. Some breath.. some have heart beats.. some move.. some wimp.

They have the skin texture and weight and mobility that real babies have. You can design your own, choosing hair color and texture.. moles.. birth marks.. whatever.

It's like Build-A-Bear only a lot more expensive.

Here's the thing.. if you were a doll collector, that's one thing but the women featured in this documentary (including one of the "artists" they featured) have all been talking a pull off of Miley's bong.

One woman, who doesn't want to have biological children because it would intrude on her "too fun" marriage, thinks nothing of walking her reborns in a stroller.. taking them to the park.. and dropping 300 bucks on a Roberto Cavelli outfit before jumping a plane to the states to pick up her latest one. She tries to make you believe that she KNOWS they're not real.. and she just enjoys them because she really doesn't want to deal with real babies and their dirty diapers. But all that goes out the window when the newest doll arrives in her hotel room and she realizes that it's damaged after "bonding" with it. The doll isn't perfect so off it went with this woman practically having a meltdown. She was there with her mother, who just looked on like this was perfectly normal.

Um. Okkkaayyyy.

Then there's the grandmother obsessing about her grandson. Through out the whole entire episode, she's going on and on about him and you're lead to believe that he's dead. It isn't until she custom orders her reborn to look just like her grandson.. picks it up.. proudly shows it to her husband who does NOT have the reaction she wanted that you find out that the real kid isn't dead.. he's off living in New Zealand with his mother and her new husband.

Even the artist admits that she started making the dolls because after her 4th child, she couldn't have anymore.

She bought the first one under the guise that it was for her daughter and was so disappointed that the reborn did not look as real as it did in the picture that she started making her own.

I'm sorry. I know that there should be a certain amount of empathy that one should have when dealing with the mentally challenged but I just can't do it.

If your wondering, the pictures on this post are ALL reborn baby dolls and not the real things.

Just one other question..

When the HELL is Dr. Who coming back on??

Review: Haunted

As much as I am obsessed with movies, sometimes not all of them hit my radar.

Case in point? 1995's Haunted.

Just how a movie starring Aidan Quinn, Kate Beckinsale and Anthony Andrews skirted by me is as much a mystery as this movie is.

Quinn plays David Ash, who's twin sister Juliette accidentally downs as a child growing up in the English country side. His American mother moves him to the States where he grows to become a professor of psychology and spends his time writing books disproving the paranormal and busts fake psychics at seances.

He returns to England to teach at University and keeps receiving requests from an old woman, Mrs. Webb, who insists that she is living with ghosts and implores him to help her. Initially he resists, until his assistant informs him that the woman lives in Edbrook. For some reason, this piques his interest and he travels back to the English country side to convince the old woman that what she thinks are ghosts can be dispelled.

Or is it?

Upon arrival, Ash meets the adult children of the estate Christina (Beckinsale), Robert (Andrews) and Simon (Alex Lowe) who are.. um.. well.. let's just say the word "inappropriate" is an understatement! They're weird.. they think that Mrs. Webb (once their nanny is weird) and poor Professor Ash has everything he knows to be true turned upside down.

Sir John Gielgud also makes an appearance as the formidable Dr. Doyle.

This isn't your typical haunted house movie and there were moments in the film where I actually jumped out of my skin and chocked on my microwave popcorn!

So if you come across this in the 5.99 bin at WalMart, make the investment. It really is a great movie.

Review: Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew Season 4

Dr. Drew certainly does get around, huh? Between LoveLine, Teen Mom, Celebrity Rehab .. I think it's safe to say that where ever the celebrity, the infamous and the dysfunction meet, Dr. Drew is right there next to the "equal" sign.

That is, if VH1 is anywhere near the vicinity. They've seem to corner the market on craziness.

At any rate, I  like Dr. Drew. I like his facial expressions and his calm eye rolls and he really does seem to have sincere motivations in helping these twits .. even though the majority of them see this as a way to put some much needed dough in their pockets.

Seriously.. look at the last three seasons and you won't find a Lindsay Lohan among them..

Since I don't drink or do drugs.. I really believe my addiction is watching people who do. It fascinates me and I think this is the first season where I was familiar with the whole cast. Well, except for one. But we'll get to that later.

Expect the same dramas.. the same break thrus.. the same dysfunctions.. the same tantrums... because if there's one thing I've learned, it's that it doesn't matter if one is a celebrity or not. A junkie is a junkie is a junkie.

Eric Roberts

Before he was "Julia's brother" and "Emma's father", Eric was quite the actor himself. In fact, I think I remember drooling over him waaaay back in the 80's when King of the Gypsy was release.

Back in then, coke ran rampant and as the story goes, he was more then happy to sit on a pile of it. Now, according to him, his only vice is pot that he "vaporizes". Who knew.

The one thing that is getting on my nerves already is his over use of the word "baby". Sorry, Eric, the whole lounge lizard thing went out with the big piles of coke.

Frankie Lons

Um.

Who?

Her bio says that she's "..Keisha Cole's biological mother".

Um.. ok.

And.. um.. excuse me for being ignorant but who is Keisha Coles? I may not know who she is because I only listen to country and alternative music but even Jason Davis asked the same question so I don't feel so bad.

Janice Dickenson

I LOVE Janice!!

The self described "First Super Model" and the epitome of a "hot mess" .. I just love her. Maybe it's because I read her autobiography years ago so I know a little bit of the history that made her what she became but I really think that she is one of the few that really does want to beat her demons.

I doubt that the "clean" Janice will be anywhere near as entertaining but she deserves to have some peace in her life.

Jason "Gummi Bear" Davis

Jason is what happens when excess is used in place of love. He was raised by his billionaire grandfather who died when Jason was 15, leaving Jason alone, lost, unloved and self medicating with drugs. He lives behind his walls and it's soo obvious that he pushes people away before they can get close. He's truly socially inept and it's sad.

At 25 (I think), he's a shell of a person. Doesn't take care of his health.. doesn't take care of his hygiene. He just doesn't give a crap and at the onset of this season, he just seems like he's going through the motions waiting to die. Interestingly, he was on an episode of Millionaire Matchmaker last season and the change between then and now is sad.

Ironically, he's one that I'm rooting for.

Jason Wahler

I think Jason Wahler was one of those 11th hour addicts signed on because they needed one more person for the show.

I mean, really. He's one of those people who are famous for being famous. Or change that to infamous. He's known for three things 1) Filming Laguna Beach and The Hills 2) Dating Lauren Conrad 3) Getting a DUIs like.. every other night.

His drug of choice is alcohol and even though is so obvious that he's an alcoholic that needs help, I'm not sure he has the big personality needed to be on this show. How's that for sick, right?

Jeremy London

Poor Jeremy. No matter how hard he tries.. or how much he believes it himself.. the fact that he was kidnapped and forced to smoke crack at gunpoint is just.. well.. come on.. a little hard to believe.

I know you remember that story, right? Maybe it did happen... I don't know. But Jeremy and his baby's momma (who is also being treated at the same facility but off camera) have issues. BIG issues. Hopefully they both get their shit together.

Leif Garrett

Like Janice.. I really, really, REALLY hope that Leif is finally able to get the help that he needs. From my guesti-mation, he's been an addict for what? Thirty years? Hard core stuff.. not just vaporizing pot.

Along with the whole child-star target on his back, he carries around the guilt of paralyzing his best friend and as we all learned by following Mike Starr from Alice in Chains last season, that bag of guilt is no joke.

I've seen plenty of documentaries and interview with Leif and honestly, I do hope he gets clean. But deep down I think he's on the show just for the paycheck.. and that's really sad.

Rachel Uchitel

Even though I think that Rachel Uchitel isn't talking about this on camera.. doesn't want it mentioned on camera.. she's the chick that did Tiger Woods when he was married and started that whole ball rolling.

Ok.. I get that you don't want to be "known" for that but come on.. do you think no one remembers?

Anyway.. she's pretty messed up mentally. Her father OD'd when she was young and her fiance was killed in the 9/11 attacks so she has major abandonment issues. That's no joke and even though she thinks she doesn't have "street cred" because she's not a hard core junkie like some of the others, she's got issues that are screwing up her life in the same way.

So there you have the cast of Season 4. Should be interesting. They seem to be MORE of everything.. more addicted.. more troubled.. more diva-ish.. more resistant.

Dr. Drew has his work cut out for him.