Recap: Teen Mom Season 2 (catching up)

Oh man.

If these four aren't the poster children for abstinence OR protection, then I'm at a lost.

At least Leah and Corey are redeeming themselves. Since I last posted, they've become engaged and still dealing with baby Ali's health issues.

Thankfully, Ali's MRI has come back clean but her pediatrician .. who, excuse me, belongs in some kind of horror movie or something .. but suggests she see a geneticists. She also needs to wear glasses.. which are adorable.. but how exactly does one perform an eye exam on a baby?

The couple is in redneck heaven and I'm glad to have the opportunity to watch them come back together and do the right thing for their family. They've both matured a lot .. and how cute was the family picture they took all dressed in camo?? So West Virginia!! LoL!

Ok.. so let's move on to Chelsea. I want to say that she made her bed and now she has to lie in it but, really. Have you SEEN her house? Does she EVER make a bed, do a dish or put clothes away?? So best friend Megan moves out because of Adam, the balloon knot father.. Chelsea's father wants him to pay rent .. Chelsea wants him to be superdad / superpartner .. and all the balloon know wants to do is what he's been doing which is getting his face on MTV.

Sorry, but while Chelsea is an idiot .. her father is the biggest fool. Because trust me on this one, if she was MY kid you can be damn sure things would be a LOT different.

So nothing has really changed for Chelsea except in the last episode, the balloon knot decided that he couldn't deal with her bitching and booked out.

Give up the fantasy, girl .. go back home.. finish getting your GED and get your tail in beauty school. Maybe then you'll be able to do something with that hair!!

Poor Kailyn wants to have it all .. and at least she has the ambition to try and get it. She's going to school, she's working too jobs, she finally made it clear to The Douchebag that not only did she not want to move in with him but didn't want a relationship period and she started dating the guy from work that she initially broke up with because The Douchebag's Puppet Master parents wouldn't allow her to continue living in their home if she dated someone other then her control freak son.

She tried to keep the new boyfriend a secret but you know, I can imagine she felt held down and confined. The Puppet Master Mother kept pushing her to give The Douchebag another chance and it didn't seem that anything Kailyn said about how she felt made a dent.

Fortunately, Kailyn was able to move out and stay at her mother's but she didn't get her or the baby's things out of The Puppet Master's house. Bad move. If I were here, I would have started taking things out little by little and THEN told them all where they needed to go.. but as it stands now, The Douchebag has the baby and her things and won't give her neither because she owes him money for her college tuition.

Kailyn's mom tried to get them for her but wound up having to call the police. Now, I watch A LOT of Judge Judy so I can tell you that what the police SHOULD have done is told him to give her stuff back and then take her to civil court for the money. I'm familiar with where Kailyn and The Douchebag live and I can tell you beyond certainty that the Nazareth Police Dept saw The Puppet Master's big house, gorgeous house and Kailyn's crazy mother and were like,, yea... we're not getting on their bad side because they probably donate a LOT of money.. so they basically tell The Douchebag what HE needs to do to make sure he gets custody of the baby.

There was a local news story in mid-February about Kailyn getting into a car accident when she was picking up the baby from daycare so apparently, she and The Douchebag worked out a custody arrangement. Since the baby is in daycare, I'm going to assume that K is still going to school, working her ass off and living on her own.

Last but not least we have Janelle and all the dysfunction that comes with her mother and her boyfriend. I really think Janelle is just lost. There seems to be a lot of history that hasn't been delved into regarding her mother and some male abandonment issues that she hasn't resolved yet... why else would she be so hell bent on sticking with KEIFER??

So with Jace in the custody of her mother, Janelle and Keifer got thrown out of her friends  house.. then were living at one of his friends summer place.. and when kicked out of there. The plan then was to use her student loan money to move to another town close to school, get an apartment and both get jobs. Janelle got a job but Keifer.. with is no-hs-diploma, no-ged and no-ambition ass couldn't find one. Not that I think he looked to hard, mind you. I keep going back to the conversation he had with Janelle's mother where he said that he was this awesome cook and could get a job anytime.

Well, mofo?? What's the dealio? Guess "anytime" doesn't apply to NOW, huh?

That plan falling through,  her mother agreed to them both staying there. Personally, I wouldn't have let him stay at my house but you know, I think Janelle needs to recognize that her mother did something she didn't have to do. But that was short lived because they got snagged smoking a bone in front of the house. Keifer was out but Janelle, with no where to go had to stay at her mother's.

The shit hit the fan.. again.. when Janelle drove Jace up to the store to get milk. Her mother saw the car seat still in her car and freaked the hell out.

Now, I'm no fan of the mother. But given Janelle's history, I could understand her getting bent out of shape with Janelle taking the baby somewhere in the car. Especially since her mother knows that Janelle is MORE then 420 friendly. Janelle keeps whining that SHE is Jace's mother. No girlfriend, you signed away guardianship.. regardless of whether it's temporary or not.

She runs to Keifer.. who she hasn't seen for three.. long... days... and both decide to drive up to New Jersey. She lies to her mother and tells her that she is going to a concert in Myrtle Beach for a few days. In fact, she was going to sneak out of the house with her stuff but her mother caught her. If she didn't, when was she going to find out?

Janelle? You know, I do have some empathy for you but you're going through that quick. You want your son, then you need to suck it up and prove your mother wrong. You want a man in your life? You have one.. his name is Jace and sorry, but it should break your  heart more then mine when he stares out the screen door watching you leave.

And do you REALLY think that using your mother's credit card on your Jersey excertion wasn't going to go unnoticed??

Things were going well until

Review: Just Go With It

I love Adam Sandler ..

Well.. I love Adam Sandler in romantic comedies. I'm going to chose to forget ANY movie he does where he talks in a retarded voice like Little Nicky, The Waterboy and a few others!

But Sandler does this kind of movie the best and even though you KNOW what's going to happen, you still enjoy the ride because it's just. freakin'. funny.

Sandler plays Dr. Danny McAvoy, an LA plastic surgeon who realizes he can use a wedding ring to pick up women without the fear of getting into a serious relationship.

He meets Palmer (Brooklyn Decker.. who's ALL boobs, btw.. not that there's anything wrong with that!) at a party and the sparks fly. She's into him as much as he's into her but she happens to find the wedding ring in his pocket and accuses him of being a cheater.

Caught in a jam, he spins this tale of divorce. Wonderful, except that Palmer wants to talk to the supposedly ex-wife before going on a date with him.

Really.. who does that?

Anyway.. Dr. Dan convinces his office assistant Katherine (Jennifer Aniston) to pose as his ex.. go to lunch with him and Palmer.. and give her blessing.

Have to say that their shopping scene was beyond hysterical!

All is well and Dr. Dan is thisclose to being in the clear when Katherine's cell rings and there's an issue with one of her kids.

Palmer, a school teacher, is surprised that Dr. Dan has kids and now the fun really begins.. because not only does this new info have to be spun but now the KIDS have to be involved and if you have kids, you know how much of a wild card they are with secrets!

Everything in the movie is over the top but that's the fun. You have to know going in that it's going to be out there so just sit back and roll with it .. if you over think it, you're going to ruin it for yourself! Especially when it comes to Dr. Dan's cousin Eddie (Nick Swardson) .. he's just beyond.

Nicole Kidman also shows up half way through the movie as Katherine's college sorority sister. I had no idea she was in the movie and it was kind of cool to see her doing something with no "angst" .. if you know what I mean!

So Thumbs Up on this one.. it took me a while to see it but it was worth the wait!

Review: The Adjustment Bureau

After watching Matt Damon in The Hereafter and HATING it ( see that review HERE ) .. I was a little gun shy about spending a few hours with him again.

But I absolutely ADORE Emily Blunt so yknow.. I figured I'd give it a whirl.

I'm glad I did. I liked the movie a lot more then I thought I was going to but think the writer(s) didn't do their concept any justice. They could have really, really run with it and made both the characters and the plot a little richer.. given them more dimension ..

At any rate, the movie centers around David Norris (Matt Damon) .. a sort of wonder kid in the political field... who's running for office when news breaks of a scandalous picture taken at his college reunion.

His ratings plummet and he loses the election. In the men's room practicing his concession speech, he finds Elise (Emily Blunt), hiding from security for crashing a wedding. .. she's ballsy.. brazen.. and unlike any women he's ever met before.

There's a connection but Elise skips away and out of his life. Or so he thinks.

This is essentially a story of Fate and who exactly our destiny. Do we or is there a conglomerate of fedora wearing men making sure that we do what we're suppose to do?

It's an interesting premise and one that ALMOST explored the spider webs of our choices in life. If David insists on being with Elise, he will not become President and she will not become a world famous dancer. Considering the more important consequences of his actions, whether or not Elise dances kind of pales in comparison.

Guess there's only so much you can focus on in a few hours, huh?

Anthony Mackie, John Slattery and Terrance Stamp are the fedora wearing Fate Sealers (my title, not the movie's) who work for The Adjustment Bureau making sure that each character stays on the path they laid out for them and makes the appropriate "adjustments" to ensure that it happens.

I enjoyed the movie.. wouldn't say I absolutely LOVED IT!!!!! .. but worth the time.

Give it a go and let me know what you think ..

Review: Drive Angry

Have to say that I really haven't been enjoying Nic's movies lately.

I know he needs the money with all those nasty IRS letters coming in the mail but yknow.. I thought he was a METHOD actor and all.

At any rate.. I really, REALLY liked this one.

Think Desperado minus Selma Hayek plus can cheese and you get the idea.

Beside being BEYOND cheesy, it's raunchy in that 1970's soft porn kind of way.

You can't but love it because nobody acting in this movie is taking it seriously .. if they did, the movie would of sucked. But everybody involved knew what it was and played it over the top.

Oh.. and when they say Shot in 3D? The mean it.. EVERYTHING is practically in 3D.. it was a riot.

Ok .. so basically, the story is this:

Milton (Nicolas Cage) is a man on a mission to hunt down the fake prophet Jonah King (Billy Burke), the guy responsible for killing his daughter and  kidnapping his infant granddaughter with the intent of sacrificing her.

NOTE: you know you're getting old when Nicolas Cage plays a GRANDFATHER for pete's sake!!

Anyway .. along the way he picks up the hot chick Piper (Amanda Heard). But not only is Milton and Piper hunting down Jonah Hill, Milton is also being hunted down by some dude named The Accountant (William Fichtner),

Not for nothing, but The Accountant literally steals every single scene he is in. He needs his own movie.

Look, if you're looking for something deep and meaningful this isn't it. If you're looking to laugh your ass off.. well, you might. The movie has it's moments but it's not a comedy. But if you're just looking for something that you can just sit back and watch without having to utilize any brain cells, then that's what you have here.

If the situation fits, it's the perfect movie to take your 23 year old girlfriend to!!    ROFLMAO!!

Review: Unknown

Other potential titles for this film:

• UNKNOWN REASONS WHY I WASTED MY TIME?
• UNKNOWN REASONS WHY LIAM NEESON WASTED HIS TIME MAKING THIS FILM
• WHY THIS MOVIE WAS EVEN MADE IS UNKNOWN

You get the picture, right?

Come on.

I'm not even a fan of Liam Neeson but really, really loved TAKEN so it's not like I'm being biased.

So.. okay... don't expect much:

Dr. Martin Harris (Neeson) and his wife Elizabeth (January Jones) travel to Germany from some bio-something-or-other conference. After landing and making their way to the hotel, Martin realizes he left his briefcase at the airport and jumps in a taxi to go get it. The taxi falls victim to a fridge or something falling off a truck, careens to avoid smashing into it and winds up crashing over the side of a bridge and into a river.

Personally, with my fear of bridges, I would have choses to go head on with the fridge but that's just me.

The taxi driver, Gina (Diana Kruger) pulls Martin out of the sinking cab and takes off.

Martin wakes up from a coma 4 days later with his memories kind of in tact but more then a little foggy and sets about to reunite with his wife. Only his wife doesn't know who he is.. even though she IS married to Dr. Martin Harris but he's now being played by Aidan Quinn.

Personally, I would go with Aidan Quinn myself but that's just me.

So now we fight through waves of molasses watching Neeson prove he is who he is.. running through Germany with Kruger being shot at and all this other nonsense.

There is a twist .. well, one that any novice movie watcher will catch on to right away.. that could have been semi interesting if it was done properly .. and probably the best scene in the movie was probably about 3 minutes long and between two secondary actors (Frank Langella and Bruno Ganz) .. other then that, HUGE waste of time.

Save your money .. save your time..

AND if you completely think I'm off base, well the only think I can say to that is your taste in movies is UNKNOWN.

I know.. I know.. cheesy.. but cut me some slack!