Review: Drive Angry

Have to say that I really haven't been enjoying Nic's movies lately.

I know he needs the money with all those nasty IRS letters coming in the mail but yknow.. I thought he was a METHOD actor and all.

At any rate.. I really, REALLY liked this one.

Think Desperado minus Selma Hayek plus can cheese and you get the idea.

Beside being BEYOND cheesy, it's raunchy in that 1970's soft porn kind of way.

You can't but love it because nobody acting in this movie is taking it seriously .. if they did, the movie would of sucked. But everybody involved knew what it was and played it over the top.

Oh.. and when they say Shot in 3D? The mean it.. EVERYTHING is practically in 3D.. it was a riot.

Ok .. so basically, the story is this:

Milton (Nicolas Cage) is a man on a mission to hunt down the fake prophet Jonah King (Billy Burke), the guy responsible for killing his daughter and  kidnapping his infant granddaughter with the intent of sacrificing her.

NOTE: you know you're getting old when Nicolas Cage plays a GRANDFATHER for pete's sake!!

Anyway .. along the way he picks up the hot chick Piper (Amanda Heard). But not only is Milton and Piper hunting down Jonah Hill, Milton is also being hunted down by some dude named The Accountant (William Fichtner),

Not for nothing, but The Accountant literally steals every single scene he is in. He needs his own movie.

Look, if you're looking for something deep and meaningful this isn't it. If you're looking to laugh your ass off.. well, you might. The movie has it's moments but it's not a comedy. But if you're just looking for something that you can just sit back and watch without having to utilize any brain cells, then that's what you have here.

If the situation fits, it's the perfect movie to take your 23 year old girlfriend to!!    ROFLMAO!!

Review: Season Of The Witch

There's only one type of character that Nicolas Cage does well.. the quirky-almost-anti-hero.

Think Valley Girl, National Treasure and even The Sorcerer's Apprentice for that matter.

There's really nothing new here.

Cage and Ron Perlman (remember him for the Beauty and the Beast tv show ages ago?) play a pair of Templar Knights who kind of figure out that the wars they are fighting are not necessarily for God.. but for their commander who doesn't give a hoot what God says.

So they beat feet and high tail back to where ever it is they high tail it back to.

What they don't realize is that England has been hit with the Black Plague and the king of whatever village they were in tells them that he has this witch down in the dungeon and if they would just take her to the Abbey, the monks there have the VERY. LAST. SORCERER'S. BOOK that would break the plague spell and kill the witch.

So that's the story and you already know that since this is a Nicolas Cage movie, all kinds of mayhem will ensue and getting to the Abbey doesn't mean that anything is going to go down the way the King says it will and the movie will end the way almost all of Nicolas Cage's movies will end.

There really isn't any surprises here. At all.

Was it a good movie? It was ok .. it's been done better.. it's been done worse. I happen to love all things set in the medieval age so I may be slightly biased.. and, you know, it's not like Nic Cage was wrongly cast. But it has the feeling of ".. wow! I owe the IRS a loooooooooooot of money so let me spend a few weeks making some bank" 


I wouldn't spend the money to go see this during prime hours.. in fact, it's kind of a perfect movie to use those almost expired gift tickets you got back on your birthday when there really isn't anything you really really want to see (!!) ... or wait for it on cable.