Recap: American Idol 10: Week One Elimination

CAUTION: SPOILER

Wow...

So the wild ride begins.

The one thing I hate about the elimination round is how long and drawn out it is AND all the fluff stuff that keeps me hanging on for an hour to find out who's going home.

Tonight I had to endure Adam Lambert and Diddy aka Puffy aka Puff Daddy aka Jennifer Lopez's former boyfriend. Can we say awkward?

Ack.. it's been like, 10 years or something so there should be no hard feelings right?

Anyway..

So Ryan first pulls down Karen Rodriguez, Jacob Lusk and Stefano Langone. He reviews what the judges say.. asks each of them what they thought about their performance and then lays down the results.

All are safe EXCEPT for Karen.

Whhaaatttt???

Another round of performances.. another round of commercials.. and then he pulls down Lauren Alaina, Ashton Jones and Haley Reinhart.

Again he talks to the judges.. talks to the contestants.. and poor Lauren, she's in tears saying how sorry she was that she sucked last night. She watched the performance and yep.. she sucked.

Everybody was feeling bad for her and Ryan, being Ryan, told her he wasn't going to let her suffer anymore. He was sorry but...

She on for another week.

Ryan is SOOOO Ryan.

While Ashton and Haley wait for their results, Haley.. sorry.. but was like giving attitude. Maybe she was trying to save face.. I don't know.

Ryan then tells them that BOTH of them are at the bottom and that everyone else on the couch is safe.

I doubt that's what the other's were expecting because they just stared at him like W?T?F? .. THIS isn't the way it's suppose to go!! But they finally got it and cheered for themselves, albeit with prompting.

Before long it was down to the elimination. Karen, THANK GOD, was safe leaving Ashton and Haley.

Haley's attitude still wasn't sitting right with me.. can't really put  my finger on it but she was just.. cocky? Again, not sure but I didn't like it but maybe it's because I really don't like her.

Finally, Ryan announced who was eliminated:

Were you as shocked as I was?

Considering that she was the wild card brought in by the judges, maybe she just didn't connect with the rest of America. Maybe the people who voted just started watching the competition and didn't bother with the audition shows and Hollywood week. It had to be something like that because how else would HALEY beat her out?

This season (I don't know about other seasons) the judges have ONE save to use when they think America got it wrong.. so Ashton sings again but the judges choose not to save her. 

I'm going to bet that they would use it if someone like Pia, Lauren or Jacob got the least amount of votes!

So Ashton.. be brave, girl. Rely on your faith because you are amazingly talented and will one day be a star!

Recap: American Idol 10: Week One

You know what sucks? Writing a post and then losing it because of a stupid Windows automatic update! Grrr!!!

Okay .. so this was the moment I've been waiting for! I was going to start posting way back during the auditions .. and then Hollywood Week but it was way too much. I may not have much of a life, but I have one! LoL!

So anyway .. in all the years of American Idol, this has got to be THE MOST talented bunch of singers that I can remember! With the exception of like, 2, all of them are my favorite!! It's going to be a brutal season, emotionally, for me I think!!

This week, the contestants sing a song by their OWN personal idol. This should be interesting!

BTW .. Im writing this "real time", so I'll be writing what I think before the judges tell theirs. If that matters any!

Ok.. on with it

LAUREN ALAINA
Shania Twain: Any Man Of Mine

Wow.. it's hard to believe that this kid is still a teenager. I personally think she's fantastic and no matter what happens on Idol, she's going to HUGE but I think the energy was off tonight. Last week, she sang Turn On The Radio by Reba McEntire and freakin' killed it! Even though Lauren sang the song really well, it just didn't have a whole lot of other things going on.

But that's just me.. now on to the judges:

Steven: Loves her, loved the song but wished it was a little more kick ass
Jennifer: Thinks she always sounds amazing, doesn't have to try but needed to kick it up a notch
Randy: Doesn't think she still doesn't know how talented she is but wants more of what they saw in the auditions and shine.

CASEY ABRAMS
Joe Cocker: Little Help From My Friends

I love Casey.. I think what he does just oozes out of his pores and I'm so so so stoked that he got through and while I think this was a good song for him, I don't know. I liked it.. but didn't have that goosebump moment that I was really, really hoping for. I wasn't liking the changes between the strong growly parts and the thin falsetto parts.

But that's just me.. now on to the judges:

Jennifer: Goes by what she feels, and feels that she's watching someone important.
Randy: Always excited to see him perform and that he's so unbelievable and exciting and makes listening to him fun. Loves it.
Steven: A Rainbow of talent who doesn't cease to amaze him and a plethora of passion that makes everyone feel what he's doing.

ASHTON JONES
Diana Ross: When You Tell Me That You Love Me

I think Ashton is fantastic.. definitely got the goods and based on what the judges have been telling her, I wasn't surprised that she did a Diana Ross song. But THIS song? It sounded.. what's the right word? Breathy? Thin? I don't know, wasn't feeling a real rich or warm or smooth tone. She looked beautiful, though. Like I said, girlfriend got the goods!

But that's just me.. now on to the judges:

Randy: Liked it and thought she grew a little more as a singer and was conscience of where her voice was with the notes and stuff.
Steven: Agrees with Randy and thinks she has a lot more in her to show
Jennifer: Elegant and a real professional but wants to see her sing songs that everyone knows and can sing along to.

PAUL MCDONALD
Ryan Adams: Come Pick Me Up

I've heard of Ryan Adams but don't know any of his music and based on Paul's performance, I don't think I want to. Paul is one of Tim's favorites and I like that he has an unusual voice and is on the right side of quirky but after his performance last week of Rod Stewart's Maggie May, this was a huge let down. Personally, I think he should have sang BRYAN Adamsn istead of RYAN Admas.

But that's just me.. now on to the judges:

Steven: Loves the character and rasp in his voice.. makes each song his own but next time needs to find a song with a chorus in his key and nail it
Jennifer: So unique.. something about him that moves the crowd and hopes that America "gets" him
Randy: Loves who Paul "is" .. He gets it.. hopes America gets it and thinks he's perfect for the show

PIA TOSCANA
Celine Dion: All By Myself

First of all, even with her hair in a ponytail and glasses Pia is stunning! Beautiful girl with a beautiful voice and beautiful inside. She's another one who's going to have something going on for her regardless of what happens on Idol. Her performance was flawless.. talk about goose bumps!! She's just amazing and sang Celine like she was singing a nursery rhyme. It was effortless. In fact, I kind of forgot that I was watching Idol! I'm sure she makes her father proud with whatever she does!

But that's just me.. on to the judges

Jennifer: Was speechless.. and almost in tears it looked like.
Randy: Always tell people not to sing Mariah, Celine and Whitney and she has the same quality and hits the notes dead on with out thinking about it. Always in awe
Steven: Just slammed it. Beautiful.

JAMES DURBIN
Paul McCartney: Maybe I'm Amazed

Truthfully, I was a little surprised that he was going to sing McCartney. Truthfully, I like him but to me he always pulled out that whole "range" thing that floor everyone so I my interest was peaked and guess what? He FLOORED me .. this kid can SING! The whole vocal acrobatics aside, he has a voice and I think the arragement was perfect for him. Good job! No, GREAT job!

But that's just me.. on to the judges

Randy: One his favorites, one of the voices that can sing anything. Slayed it. This dude can do anything!
Steven: Taken everything he has ever felt and kicked it into next week.
Jennifer: Has a quality that every great rock singer has, a melodic tone

HALEY REINHART
Leann Rimes: Blue

Haley isn't one of my favorites.. I actually didn't think she should have been picked for the season.. and she didn't impress me at all tonight. Between the yodeling that was off.. the whole Hawaiian feel.. I don't know. It was boring. I keep thinking that there were a lot of better talent that they let slide by to let her in.

But that's just me.. on to the judges

Steven: Thought it was beautiful and did a good job
Jennifer: Thinks America is getting to know her and she does things with her voice that is diverse and is unique to her.
Randy: Likes that she has a broad range of songs that she can sing but thought this performance was sleepy and boring

JACOB LUSK
R Kelly: I Believe I Can Fly

Oh Jacob. Jacob is like.. a national treasure, that's how talented I think he is and after hearing him blow out God Bless The Child and A House Is Not A Home, I assumed I'd get the same one big goosebump tonight. Sadly.. it didn't happen. I don't know if it was the producers getting into his head and telling him to do things beside what comes naturally.. but it didn't work. There was this part in the middle that was mad impressive but that was it. And that made me sad. Jacob is so much better then what I saw tonight.

But that's just me.. on to the judges

Steven: Couldn't judge it.. pure passion, pure talent.. that's how good he is
Jennifer: Can't judge him because of how good he is.. he's at the top
Randy: Has a signature sound but felt he had a rough change at the "B" verse but at the end he was unbelievable

THIA MEGIA
Michael Jackson: Smile

Wow. You know, last week Thia just blew it out of the stratosphere with Irene Cara's Out There On My Own. When she began singing, it was soft.. melodic.. angelic. And then she picked up the tempo and it just kind of went downhill for me. I don't know if maybe it wasn't the right song for her but it almost sounded like it was a high school production. That made me sad too.

But that's just me.. on to the judges

Randy: Loved the intro but loved the beginning  more then the jazzy end. Her vocal with just a guitar to accompany is golden.
Steven: Little pitchy, liked the front more then the end but she's young and has a whole career in front of her
Jennifer: Obvious her strength is her voice the way she sounded in the beginning of the sound. Thinks she sounds like an angel

STEFANO LANGONE
Stevie Wonder: Lately

Did Stefano channel Stevie or what?? Tell me you didn't think he sounded JUST like him? OMG.. it was unbelievable. I had hoped Stefano would make it to the competition and even though I'm not familiar with this song I did think he started off kind of bad but he pulled it out and in a big way. This boy has a set of lungs on him, that's for damn sure!

But that's just me.. on to the judges

Steven: Soared like a volcano
Jennifer: Had her dancing. Hard to take a ballad and make a dance re-mix but he did and made is his
Randy: Hard to sing Stevie but he slayed it and Stevie would be proud

KAREN RODRIGUEZ
Selena: If I Could Fall In Love

This made me sooo sad. Karen is just as great as Pia and when she sang Mariah Carey's Hero last week, the goosebumps lasted for days so I was expecting her to blow me away again and put me in the cloud listening to an angel. But it didn't happen. I don't know what happened. The arrangment was good and the think is, I don't think Selena had Karen's talent so none of her songs are going to be able to show her voice the way it should be shown. I really hope she makes it through. We'll really be missing something if she didn't.

But that's just me.. on to the judges

Jennifer: Could tell she was uncomfortable with some of the notes but she's one of their strongest girls and hopes she makes it on to next week
Randy: Felt she was fighting the song and wants excitement from her with her energy and big voice but it was sleepy for him
Steven: Knows she can sing so much better

SCOTTY MCCREERY
Garth Brooks: The River

Scotty is my favorite for a lot of reasons. For one, he is just as amazing as Jacob and Pia only in a country way. He's truly a young man who was raised right and I loved that he told the great Jimmy Iovine that he wanted to be true to the song and to himself while singing it. That's a big thing for a nobody to tell Jimmy Iovine, let me tell you. But Scotty's singing is effortless. He knows who he is and what he can do and made it all seem just way too easy. He might have some challenges with the different genre's coming up but this kid has a future and he's going to be huge. I can listen to him sing all day.

But that's just me.. on to the judges

Randy: Loved that he stayed true to himself because if it ain't broke then don't even try to fix it. This is exactly where he belongs and could put it a record now
Steven: Did the Garth justice. He's riding high tonight
Jennifer: Loved that he opened up as a performer and feel the audience and embrace them in the song. Sings country spot on.

NAIMA ADEDAPO
Rhianna: Umbrella

Let me say this about Naima .. she is determined to make the very most of this opportunity and is WORKING FOR IT. No matter what she sings.. or how far she gets in the competition, she knows that this is her shot and is doing everything she can to push it. I admire her so much. The girl PERFORMED .. pulling out the dance moves, throwing in some reggae.. she is doing all she can do. It's not my favorite song but she did it.. and did it well. A born performer.. she belongs on the stage. I have my fingers crossed for her.

But that's just me.. on to the judges

Steven: Crazy good.. a little pitchy but she brought flavor and a little something more then the others did
Jennifer: Got fire.. didn't care about the pitchy.. she's doing it like stars do but needs to work on the control when dancing and singing together
Randy: Does care about the pitchy but she just has to learn how to breath and LOVED the reggae

So who's going home tomorrow?

All the judges agreed that there were ups and downs and you know, it's hard to make your mark when you only have 1:40 minutes to put your best out there and piece together bits of a song to do that with. I also think that sometimes the producers hurt more then they helped. These are ameuters and don't have a lot of time to take a song that they're familiar with and change it up in such a short time. Some had success with it (James Durbin) and some didn't (Haley Reinhart) so hopefully that will rectify itself organically.

If I had to choose who went home, I'm thinking Haley.. haven't been impressed with her so far. Or maybe Paul McDonald.

We'll see tonight!

Good Stuff: One Second Needle

I'll be the first one to admit that I am an INFOMERCIAL JUNKIE!!

Not that I ever buy anything.. having been married to some one who bought EVERYTHING advertised kind of does that to you .. but I think they're so ridiculously over the top and in my experience, hardly ever did what they were said to do.

Now, I have a lot of hobbies. I'm always crafting something.. or crocheting something.. or scrap booking something.. and living with four males who have absolutely NO concept of taking care of anything, I do a lot of sewing.

All those require eye sight and unfortunately, mine isn't what it used to be. Blame it on age or blame it on a bad prescription from America's Best Eyeglasses (don't ever go there, please. WalMart is actually SO much better!) .. I can't see the way I used to and trying to thread a needle has become way beyond frustrating.

When I get frustrated, I tend to throw things.

So when I first saw the informercial for the One Second Needle, I was way more then intrigued and really wanted to order it but never quite had the funds whenever the commercial aired. Blame it on Tim, but I've gotten very ... um... frugal? these last couple of years. People who know me BT (Before Tim) know that I'm not one to over analyze spending ten bucks.

But.. it is what it is now ..

The other night I happened to be in WalGreen's and they have an AS! SEEN! ON! TV! wall. Knowing that I had a pair of Josh's pants to hem, I looked over what they had and low and behold, they had the One Second Needle.. complete with a gaggle of multi colored spools of thread! I was in heaven.

I bought it but was still a little skeptical .. but I got it home and guess what? It WORKED!! OMG!! Did it work!! I couldn't believe it and went searching around for things to sew just so I could thread the damn needle!!

This will definitely make life a whole lot easier.. and faster.. especially because I have a cross-stitching project to do that I've been putting off because of the whole needle threading thing.

So get this.. get it for yourself.. get it for an elderly person in your life.. get it for everybody!! I can't see how this isn't the perfect gift for someone who needs to use a needle!!

It was only 9.99 and comes with 4 large needles and 4 small needles. Also included was a mini sewing kit with buttons, pins, straight pins, scissors, different color thread and a measuring tape. Great to keep in your office drawer, handbag or glove compartment!

Try it and let me know what you think! I'm sure you can find it in stores.. like I said, I got mine at WalGreen's but I've seen As Seen On Tv displays in Walmart and supermarkets.

Recap: Teen Mom Season 2 (catching up)

Oh man.

If these four aren't the poster children for abstinence OR protection, then I'm at a lost.

At least Leah and Corey are redeeming themselves. Since I last posted, they've become engaged and still dealing with baby Ali's health issues.

Thankfully, Ali's MRI has come back clean but her pediatrician .. who, excuse me, belongs in some kind of horror movie or something .. but suggests she see a geneticists. She also needs to wear glasses.. which are adorable.. but how exactly does one perform an eye exam on a baby?

The couple is in redneck heaven and I'm glad to have the opportunity to watch them come back together and do the right thing for their family. They've both matured a lot .. and how cute was the family picture they took all dressed in camo?? So West Virginia!! LoL!

Ok.. so let's move on to Chelsea. I want to say that she made her bed and now she has to lie in it but, really. Have you SEEN her house? Does she EVER make a bed, do a dish or put clothes away?? So best friend Megan moves out because of Adam, the balloon knot father.. Chelsea's father wants him to pay rent .. Chelsea wants him to be superdad / superpartner .. and all the balloon know wants to do is what he's been doing which is getting his face on MTV.

Sorry, but while Chelsea is an idiot .. her father is the biggest fool. Because trust me on this one, if she was MY kid you can be damn sure things would be a LOT different.

So nothing has really changed for Chelsea except in the last episode, the balloon knot decided that he couldn't deal with her bitching and booked out.

Give up the fantasy, girl .. go back home.. finish getting your GED and get your tail in beauty school. Maybe then you'll be able to do something with that hair!!

Poor Kailyn wants to have it all .. and at least she has the ambition to try and get it. She's going to school, she's working too jobs, she finally made it clear to The Douchebag that not only did she not want to move in with him but didn't want a relationship period and she started dating the guy from work that she initially broke up with because The Douchebag's Puppet Master parents wouldn't allow her to continue living in their home if she dated someone other then her control freak son.

She tried to keep the new boyfriend a secret but you know, I can imagine she felt held down and confined. The Puppet Master Mother kept pushing her to give The Douchebag another chance and it didn't seem that anything Kailyn said about how she felt made a dent.

Fortunately, Kailyn was able to move out and stay at her mother's but she didn't get her or the baby's things out of The Puppet Master's house. Bad move. If I were here, I would have started taking things out little by little and THEN told them all where they needed to go.. but as it stands now, The Douchebag has the baby and her things and won't give her neither because she owes him money for her college tuition.

Kailyn's mom tried to get them for her but wound up having to call the police. Now, I watch A LOT of Judge Judy so I can tell you that what the police SHOULD have done is told him to give her stuff back and then take her to civil court for the money. I'm familiar with where Kailyn and The Douchebag live and I can tell you beyond certainty that the Nazareth Police Dept saw The Puppet Master's big house, gorgeous house and Kailyn's crazy mother and were like,, yea... we're not getting on their bad side because they probably donate a LOT of money.. so they basically tell The Douchebag what HE needs to do to make sure he gets custody of the baby.

There was a local news story in mid-February about Kailyn getting into a car accident when she was picking up the baby from daycare so apparently, she and The Douchebag worked out a custody arrangement. Since the baby is in daycare, I'm going to assume that K is still going to school, working her ass off and living on her own.

Last but not least we have Janelle and all the dysfunction that comes with her mother and her boyfriend. I really think Janelle is just lost. There seems to be a lot of history that hasn't been delved into regarding her mother and some male abandonment issues that she hasn't resolved yet... why else would she be so hell bent on sticking with KEIFER??

So with Jace in the custody of her mother, Janelle and Keifer got thrown out of her friends  house.. then were living at one of his friends summer place.. and when kicked out of there. The plan then was to use her student loan money to move to another town close to school, get an apartment and both get jobs. Janelle got a job but Keifer.. with is no-hs-diploma, no-ged and no-ambition ass couldn't find one. Not that I think he looked to hard, mind you. I keep going back to the conversation he had with Janelle's mother where he said that he was this awesome cook and could get a job anytime.

Well, mofo?? What's the dealio? Guess "anytime" doesn't apply to NOW, huh?

That plan falling through,  her mother agreed to them both staying there. Personally, I wouldn't have let him stay at my house but you know, I think Janelle needs to recognize that her mother did something she didn't have to do. But that was short lived because they got snagged smoking a bone in front of the house. Keifer was out but Janelle, with no where to go had to stay at her mother's.

The shit hit the fan.. again.. when Janelle drove Jace up to the store to get milk. Her mother saw the car seat still in her car and freaked the hell out.

Now, I'm no fan of the mother. But given Janelle's history, I could understand her getting bent out of shape with Janelle taking the baby somewhere in the car. Especially since her mother knows that Janelle is MORE then 420 friendly. Janelle keeps whining that SHE is Jace's mother. No girlfriend, you signed away guardianship.. regardless of whether it's temporary or not.

She runs to Keifer.. who she hasn't seen for three.. long... days... and both decide to drive up to New Jersey. She lies to her mother and tells her that she is going to a concert in Myrtle Beach for a few days. In fact, she was going to sneak out of the house with her stuff but her mother caught her. If she didn't, when was she going to find out?

Janelle? You know, I do have some empathy for you but you're going through that quick. You want your son, then you need to suck it up and prove your mother wrong. You want a man in your life? You have one.. his name is Jace and sorry, but it should break your  heart more then mine when he stares out the screen door watching you leave.

And do you REALLY think that using your mother's credit card on your Jersey excertion wasn't going to go unnoticed??

Things were going well until

Review: Just Go With It

I love Adam Sandler ..

Well.. I love Adam Sandler in romantic comedies. I'm going to chose to forget ANY movie he does where he talks in a retarded voice like Little Nicky, The Waterboy and a few others!

But Sandler does this kind of movie the best and even though you KNOW what's going to happen, you still enjoy the ride because it's just. freakin'. funny.

Sandler plays Dr. Danny McAvoy, an LA plastic surgeon who realizes he can use a wedding ring to pick up women without the fear of getting into a serious relationship.

He meets Palmer (Brooklyn Decker.. who's ALL boobs, btw.. not that there's anything wrong with that!) at a party and the sparks fly. She's into him as much as he's into her but she happens to find the wedding ring in his pocket and accuses him of being a cheater.

Caught in a jam, he spins this tale of divorce. Wonderful, except that Palmer wants to talk to the supposedly ex-wife before going on a date with him.

Really.. who does that?

Anyway.. Dr. Dan convinces his office assistant Katherine (Jennifer Aniston) to pose as his ex.. go to lunch with him and Palmer.. and give her blessing.

Have to say that their shopping scene was beyond hysterical!

All is well and Dr. Dan is thisclose to being in the clear when Katherine's cell rings and there's an issue with one of her kids.

Palmer, a school teacher, is surprised that Dr. Dan has kids and now the fun really begins.. because not only does this new info have to be spun but now the KIDS have to be involved and if you have kids, you know how much of a wild card they are with secrets!

Everything in the movie is over the top but that's the fun. You have to know going in that it's going to be out there so just sit back and roll with it .. if you over think it, you're going to ruin it for yourself! Especially when it comes to Dr. Dan's cousin Eddie (Nick Swardson) .. he's just beyond.

Nicole Kidman also shows up half way through the movie as Katherine's college sorority sister. I had no idea she was in the movie and it was kind of cool to see her doing something with no "angst" .. if you know what I mean!

So Thumbs Up on this one.. it took me a while to see it but it was worth the wait!

Review: The Adjustment Bureau

After watching Matt Damon in The Hereafter and HATING it ( see that review HERE ) .. I was a little gun shy about spending a few hours with him again.

But I absolutely ADORE Emily Blunt so yknow.. I figured I'd give it a whirl.

I'm glad I did. I liked the movie a lot more then I thought I was going to but think the writer(s) didn't do their concept any justice. They could have really, really run with it and made both the characters and the plot a little richer.. given them more dimension ..

At any rate, the movie centers around David Norris (Matt Damon) .. a sort of wonder kid in the political field... who's running for office when news breaks of a scandalous picture taken at his college reunion.

His ratings plummet and he loses the election. In the men's room practicing his concession speech, he finds Elise (Emily Blunt), hiding from security for crashing a wedding. .. she's ballsy.. brazen.. and unlike any women he's ever met before.

There's a connection but Elise skips away and out of his life. Or so he thinks.

This is essentially a story of Fate and who exactly our destiny. Do we or is there a conglomerate of fedora wearing men making sure that we do what we're suppose to do?

It's an interesting premise and one that ALMOST explored the spider webs of our choices in life. If David insists on being with Elise, he will not become President and she will not become a world famous dancer. Considering the more important consequences of his actions, whether or not Elise dances kind of pales in comparison.

Guess there's only so much you can focus on in a few hours, huh?

Anthony Mackie, John Slattery and Terrance Stamp are the fedora wearing Fate Sealers (my title, not the movie's) who work for The Adjustment Bureau making sure that each character stays on the path they laid out for them and makes the appropriate "adjustments" to ensure that it happens.

I enjoyed the movie.. wouldn't say I absolutely LOVED IT!!!!! .. but worth the time.

Give it a go and let me know what you think ..

Review: Drive Angry

Have to say that I really haven't been enjoying Nic's movies lately.

I know he needs the money with all those nasty IRS letters coming in the mail but yknow.. I thought he was a METHOD actor and all.

At any rate.. I really, REALLY liked this one.

Think Desperado minus Selma Hayek plus can cheese and you get the idea.

Beside being BEYOND cheesy, it's raunchy in that 1970's soft porn kind of way.

You can't but love it because nobody acting in this movie is taking it seriously .. if they did, the movie would of sucked. But everybody involved knew what it was and played it over the top.

Oh.. and when they say Shot in 3D? The mean it.. EVERYTHING is practically in 3D.. it was a riot.

Ok .. so basically, the story is this:

Milton (Nicolas Cage) is a man on a mission to hunt down the fake prophet Jonah King (Billy Burke), the guy responsible for killing his daughter and  kidnapping his infant granddaughter with the intent of sacrificing her.

NOTE: you know you're getting old when Nicolas Cage plays a GRANDFATHER for pete's sake!!

Anyway .. along the way he picks up the hot chick Piper (Amanda Heard). But not only is Milton and Piper hunting down Jonah Hill, Milton is also being hunted down by some dude named The Accountant (William Fichtner),

Not for nothing, but The Accountant literally steals every single scene he is in. He needs his own movie.

Look, if you're looking for something deep and meaningful this isn't it. If you're looking to laugh your ass off.. well, you might. The movie has it's moments but it's not a comedy. But if you're just looking for something that you can just sit back and watch without having to utilize any brain cells, then that's what you have here.

If the situation fits, it's the perfect movie to take your 23 year old girlfriend to!!    ROFLMAO!!

Review: Unknown

Other potential titles for this film:

• UNKNOWN REASONS WHY I WASTED MY TIME?
• UNKNOWN REASONS WHY LIAM NEESON WASTED HIS TIME MAKING THIS FILM
• WHY THIS MOVIE WAS EVEN MADE IS UNKNOWN

You get the picture, right?

Come on.

I'm not even a fan of Liam Neeson but really, really loved TAKEN so it's not like I'm being biased.

So.. okay... don't expect much:

Dr. Martin Harris (Neeson) and his wife Elizabeth (January Jones) travel to Germany from some bio-something-or-other conference. After landing and making their way to the hotel, Martin realizes he left his briefcase at the airport and jumps in a taxi to go get it. The taxi falls victim to a fridge or something falling off a truck, careens to avoid smashing into it and winds up crashing over the side of a bridge and into a river.

Personally, with my fear of bridges, I would have choses to go head on with the fridge but that's just me.

The taxi driver, Gina (Diana Kruger) pulls Martin out of the sinking cab and takes off.

Martin wakes up from a coma 4 days later with his memories kind of in tact but more then a little foggy and sets about to reunite with his wife. Only his wife doesn't know who he is.. even though she IS married to Dr. Martin Harris but he's now being played by Aidan Quinn.

Personally, I would go with Aidan Quinn myself but that's just me.

So now we fight through waves of molasses watching Neeson prove he is who he is.. running through Germany with Kruger being shot at and all this other nonsense.

There is a twist .. well, one that any novice movie watcher will catch on to right away.. that could have been semi interesting if it was done properly .. and probably the best scene in the movie was probably about 3 minutes long and between two secondary actors (Frank Langella and Bruno Ganz) .. other then that, HUGE waste of time.

Save your money .. save your time..

AND if you completely think I'm off base, well the only think I can say to that is your taste in movies is UNKNOWN.

I know.. I know.. cheesy.. but cut me some slack!